Grow at your own pace
Verywell / Zoe Hansen
You are enough.
This statement is not a lie or placation.
It is a simple fact.
Verywell / Zoe Hansen
It should be a given but somehow society has taken this truth and turned it into a radical stance.
you could be perfectly complete just the way you are, and still take steps towards self-improvement.
On the one hand,self-acceptanceis tied to loving and appreciating yourself.
The former is acting like inherently good.
Focusing solely on self-acceptance can become dangerous when we start to ignore our challenges or shortcomings to our detriment.
She gives the example of a person who is always flaky or late.
This thought process can be applied to fitness or health goals as well.
We think harsh statements are going to motivate us but they don’t.
You’re still acknowledging your desire to change without shaming yourself in the process.
Saba Harouni Lurie, LMFT, ATR-BC
Balancing both pursuits is an act of self-compassion.
It also means understanding that change is non-linear and that self-acceptance and self-improvement will both require practice and patience.
How To Balance Self-Acceptance and Self-Improvement
Inevitably you will move between these two ends throughout your life.
But, the goal is finding a balance.
Its really the opposite.
True change or growth doesnt happen without some level of self-acceptance, she says.
In fact, accepting everything without consideration can lead to a feeling of having settled and what ifs.
Do you create unnecessary limits for yourself?
Are you critical more often than not?
Self-acceptance means removing judgment and negative talk while exploring what you want to do moving forward.
Continue showing yourself compassion as you go down whatever paths you choose, says Lurie.
Balancing both pursuits is an act of self-compassion, adds Lurie.
It also means understanding that change is non-linear and that self-acceptance and self-improvement will both require practice and patience.
This process can be messy but is a lifelong learning process.
Self-acceptance and self-improvement need one another to get us to where we want to go, explains Warren.
The truth is, we are going to keep changing.
How and who we are today will not be the same tomorrow.
Self-acceptance simply asks us to commit to taking care of whatever version of you that you get to meet.
Warren recommends listening to our body throughout this journey.
Trymindfulness practicesto tap into your inner thoughts.
This can help us to anchor us in a way thats more nourishing and still intentional, explains Warren.
Will you feel more confident or at ease if you make more money?
Will gaining strength and seeing new places along your path bring excitement and stability?
Similarly, take time to do things or be with people which leave you feeling good, says Gersten.
At the same time, incorporate situations that push you out of your comfort zone.
Mixing the two can make it easier to find a balance.
She further suggests seeing a therapist to help guide you if one is accessible to you.
I think remembering that goes a long way towards setting realistic self-improvement goals and following through on them.
2014;106(2):304-324. doi:10.1037/a0035173
