But ending a relationship with a narcissist?
Well, that’s a whole ‘nother ball game.
Most of us have a baseline understanding of narcissism courtesy of pop culture psychology.
Layla Bird / Getty Images.
But what if I told you narcissismand narcissistsare a lot more complicated and complex than this?
To safely leave a narcissist, planning is paramount.
How to End a Relationship With a Narcissist
Deciding to leave a narcissistis a problem in itself.
As a result, it can be hard to pluck up the courage to leave.
Once you identify the cycle and decide to leave, the next step is to plan your exit.
Creating a Safety Plan
Some narcissists may becomeabusiveand aggressive when they feel threatened.
And they will likely feel threatened when you tell them youre leaving.
For your own safety and wellbeing, its crucial to plan ahead of time before you physically leave.
This is called asafety plan.
Safety plans should be individually adapted to suit your specific circumstances.
For more suggestions on creating a safety plan, take a look atThe National Domestic Violence Hotlines guide.
The conversations youd ordinarily have during a break-up might lead to further manipulation and aggression from them.
Thus, consider the following:
Lastly, dont leave the door open.
Its a good idea to go no contact with a narcissist.
This can include blocking them on social media and, if need be, changing your phone number.
Crowe also suggests switching from calls to emails, which are less personal.
Staying Safe
Not all narcissistic people are physically abusive.
But even non-abusive narcissistic people might become aggressive when you leave them.
If you live together, it might be a good idea to leave while theyre not home.
Take a trusted friend or family member with you if youre afraid.
Your safety is the number one priority.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Can a Relationship With a Narcissist Be Saved?
Can things get better?
The question is less about whether a narcissist can change and more about whether they will change.
True narcissists rarely take accountability, and meaningful change is unlikely without deep therapy.
At the same time, there is a caveat.
You might be afraid that youll attract another narcissist.
Moore often tells her clients to watch for how someone handles boundaries.
Narcissists often push boundaries subtly at first, then more overtly as they test your tolerance.
According to Moore, narcissists often:
Moore advises you to trust your gut.
Trusting yourself is the first step to breaking the cycle.
Therapy can be a helpful tool in rebuilding self-trust and learning to check in on your feelings.
A therapist can also help you set and maintain boundaries in other relationships.
One that becomes even more challenging if you share a home, children, or finances.
But the effort is worth it.
It is a long fight, Crowe states.
But taking this action is the first step toward a better and brighter tomorrow.
Moore agrees, adding that it’s possible to leave the relationship and reclaim your life.
You deserve to be with someone who values and respects you for who you are, she says.
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