Compersion is the opposite of jealousy
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Compersion is the experience of enjoying anothers positive experiences.
In intimaterelationships, compersion refers to the enjoyment of your partners erotic, sexual, orromanticencounters with others.
However, it isnt uncommon for those who are in monogamous relationships as well.
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What Is a Compersion Relationship?
Theres a joy that comes with romantic encounters.
Yet, some may feeljealousat the mere thought of their partner experiencing that joy with another person.
This can extend to negative feelings that arise even just by witnessing someoneflirtwith your partner.
Many may feel shame regarding their jealousy or they might notice it is negatively impacting their relationship.
However, it is possible to relish and share in your partners joy.
Compersion can be cultivated.
A compersion relationship is a relationship where compersioninstead of jealousyis the norm.
This can look different to everyone.
Some individuals in a compersion relationship might identify asnon-monogamousorpolyamorous.
Is Compersion a Real Thing?
However, compersion is a real experienceit just isnt a mainstream point of discussion yet.
Chances are you are deeply happy for them and may even cry tears ofhappinessduring the ceremony.
Can You Feel Compersion and Jealousy?
You absolutely can feeljealousyand compersion.
Even without these circumstances, you might still experience these conflicting feelings of jealousy and compersion.
In fact, it is completely natural to feel both at once.
Wondering how that is possible?
You likely already have experienced both of these emotions at the same time.
You likely are happy for them and notice your positive feelings heighten as you see their excitement.
However, there may be part of you that isjealousbecause you had hoped to receive a promotion as well.
Experiencing both of these feelings doesnt mean youre a bad partner or have ill intentions.
It simply means that you are a complex human navigating a new relational experience.
What Is Poly Compersion?
Poly compersion refers to compersion as a key tenet withinpolyamorousrelationships.
It is worth noting that those inpolyamorousrelationships can also feel jealous and lack feelings of compersion at times.
First, attune yourself to when you feel especially excited for others.
you’re free to even begin with television or movies.
You might feel excitement, pride, and joy for them.
See how that experience translates into your daily life.
you’re free to consider all of these instances as clues of what compersion feels like for you.
Then, begin to notice how you feel when good things happen for your partner in your relationship.
Theres a chance youre experiencing compersion much more often than youre realizing.
When you notice those positive feelings, take a moment to deepen your experience of them.
Become attuned to what it feels like to say it aloud.
Finally, explore activities you’re free to do together that bring each of you joy.
2022;51(6):3035-3048. doi: 10.1007/s10508-022-02333-4
