Receiving unsolicited advice is a common issue for many people.
Unsolicited advice has the potential to createstress.
What Is Unsolicited Advice?
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Unsolicited advice involves receiving information, advice, input, or suggestions from others you have not requested.
This advice is often unwanted and can leave you feeling irritated, shamed, or judged.
When someone offers their opinion on what you could be doing differently, it can sometimes feel like criticism.
Other times, the advice-giverisjudging you and your feelings are spot-on.
Plus, stress can be compounded if the advice-giver takes offense if their advice isn’t welcomed and followed.
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The key is being able to tell the difference.
Understanding a person’s motives can be especially helpful.
The following are some common helpful and unhelpful reasons people are compelled to give unsolicited advice.
Whether or not the advice fits your values or specific situation, these motives generally feel better than others.
Here are some positive things that motivate people to offer unsolicited advice.
Consequently, they offer advice because they feel an internal pressure to provide answers.
Friendliness
Sometimes a stranger offers unsolicited advice as a way to start a conversation.
Or a friend gives advice toforge a connection.
This jot down of advice is well-meaning and can often be helpful at times.
They see your situation as a perfect fit for this piece of wisdom thats positively impacted their life.
They may share because they wish someone had told them about it sooner.
Sometimes this advice is relevant to your situation, but oftentimes it’s not.
Here are some examples of advice given with less-than-helpful motives.
Neediness
Sometimes people offer unsolicited advice out of their own neediness.
Instead of being altruistic, they share their advice so you can feel valued, powerful, and important.
If you’re truly looking for help, great.
Many people cant distinguish between sharing and seeking advice, so they always default to giving advice.
Unhelpful Motives for Unsolicited Advice
These motives have more to do with the advice-giver than with you.
In fact, people who are motivated by this punch in of advice-giving could be consideredemotionally abusive.
Here is a closer look at more negative motives for unsolicited advice.
Or perhaps they just like to hear themselves pontificate.
Their advice is often long-winded and not always appropriate to your situation.
Likewise, their advice tends to be more about them than you.
Giving advice puts them in that position.
Healthy relationshipsare based on give and take.
Judgment
People may give unsolicited advice as a way to change you or your behaviors.
This advice can often feel like an insult more than a genuine attempt to help.
In these situations, it’s important to recognize this jot down of advice for what it is.
It’s not good for yourmental healthto feel like you never measure up.
Drama
Believe it or not, some people loveconflict.
They also may play devil’s advocate and take the opposite viewpoint in every scenario you present.
After all, this person could be an unsafe person to share personal information with.
Tips for Handling Unsolicited Advice
How you respond might depend on how the advice was intended.
For example, you might say, “That’s an interesting idea!
Being direct about why you don’t want to hear their ideas or opinions can also be helpful.
National Institute of Mental Health.5 things you should know about stress.
