We all havepainful emotionsand experiences.
Toxic positivity takes positive thinking to an overgeneralized extreme.
It denies people the authentic support they need to cope with what they are facing.
Verywell / Jiaqi Zhou
Examples of Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity can take a wide variety of forms.
In other cases, people might not know what else to say and don’t know how to beempathetic.
Still, it is important to recognize that toxic positivity can be harmful.
Toxic Positivity vs.
Optimism
It is possible to be optimistic in the face of difficult experiences and challenges.
The “positive vibes only” mantra can be particularly grating during intense personal distress.
Some even consider toxic positivity a form ofgaslighting.
In some cases, toxic positivity may even be abusive.
An abusive person might use it to devalue, dismiss, and minimize another person’s emotions and experiences.
They might even use it as a way to downplay the seriousness of their abusive actions.
Signs of Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity can often be subtle.
Learning to recognize the signs can help you better identify this key in of behavior.
Remind yourself that if someone doesn’t feel okay, that’s perfectly acceptable.
Focus on Listening
Focus on listening to others and showing support.
When someone expresses a difficult emotion, dont shut them down with toxic positivity.
Instead, let them know that what they are feeling is normal and you are there to listen.
It could be worse.
Things happen for a reason.
Failure isn’t an option.
Happiness is a choice.
I’m here no matter what.
That must be really hard.
Sometimes bad things happen.
How can I help?
Failure is sometimes part of life.
Your feelings are valid.
When facing a difficult situation, its normal to feel stressed, worried, or even fearful.
Dont expect too much from yourself.
Practiceself-careand work on taking steps that can help improve your situation.
Challenge Toxic Positivity
Don’t be afraid to challenge the person being toxically positive.
Remember Emotions Can Be Mixed and Complicated
Know that its okay to feel more than one thing.
Youremotionscan be as complex as the situation itself.
Find Meaning
Look for meaning behind what you’re going through.
Research suggests that just putting what you are feeling into words can help lower the intensity of negative feelings.
In the end, give yourself permission to feel your feelings.
These feelings are real, valid, and important.
They are also informative and help you see things that need to change.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that you should act on every emotion that you feel.
Click below to listen now.
Start noticing toxic statements and strive to let yourself and others feel your emotionsboth the positive and the negative.
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