Youre paying these professionals for their expertise.
They cant help you if they dont know the whole story.
But as a therapist, I know a lot of people dont tell me the truth.
Verywell / Catherine Song
And as someone who sees a therapist, I also understand why its tempting to lie.
How Many People Lie to Their Therapists?
The idea that most people lie to their therapist isnt just based on my anecdotal evidence.
Researchers have found most people struggle to be honest while sitting on their therapists couch.
Lies may also include partial truths.
But, you likely have some underlying reasons that make being honest tough.
So here are some reasons why it might be difficult to tell the whole truth.
Self-Preservation
Some people go to therapy because others want them tolike a partner or a probation officer.
Consequently, they may not be invested in making changes.
Their goal might be to avoid consequences that could stem from telling the truth.
I havent used anything in a long time.
Admittingdrug usemight lead to jail time for someone who is on probation.
Talking about it might stir up a lot of shame, embarrassment, or sadness.
This is why it’s so important to establish a good rapport with your therapist.
Desire to Be Liked by the Therapist
Its normal to want to be liked by other people.
And your therapist is no exception.
Someone might worry that a therapist will judge them if they acknowledge a mistake they made.
So it might feel safer to reveal the things that make them look good.
Remembering this can help you feel less worried about being liked or judged by your therapist.
People pleasersmight also lie about getting better.
This undermines the entire point of therapy.
Your therapist is there to help you, not the other way around.
For example, do youavoid confrontationwith others?
Do you focus more on impressing people rather than forming genuine connections?
Do you make other peoples feelings your responsibility?
you’re free to learn a lot about yourself just by examining your behavior in the therapy office.
But its important to look at therapy as a safe place to practice changing your interactions.
2015;29(1):90-112. doi:10.1080/09515070.2015.1085365
