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Feeling the need to bein controlis natural.
It’s important to realize that we can never control everything.
Letting go of control isn’t always easy, particularly when we face uncertainty.
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However, letting go of control can actually help bring a greater sense of peace.
Why should we do that, and how do we even begin?
Why Do We Feel the Need to Control?
On the other hand, the less we know, the more scared we feel.
The need to control is directly rooted in fearspecifically, the fear of what might happen outside our control.
This is why people withPTSDexperiencehypervigilance, a state of constant awareness and heightened alertness to danger.
There are many ways in which trying to control everything could backfire in the long run.
Let’s take a look at some of the top ones.
It’s when we face stress and feel like we can’t handle it that things become overwhelming.
People who have high levels of perceived control are more likely to also be more satisfied with their lives.
This may be whyperfectionistssometimes struggle to be satisfied.
Because their expectations are so high, nothing ever measures up, no matter how good it is.
Giving up the need for control is often referred to as surrendering.
Here are some of the benefits of giving up the need to feel control over everything.
People who have given up control and surrendered can easily take whatever surprises life throws at them.
By having less attachment, they’re more able togo with the flow.
That’s because you aren’t tying your love and acceptance for yourself and others on specific outcomes.
This applies both to loving others and yourself.
Anything you might do that helps you feel more OK with not being in control is excellent.
It can be large or small, practiced often or only in moments of need.
We encourage you to try one of the following to guide you on this new journey.
Take stock of what you have going on.
Think through the areas of life that are in your control and those that aren’t.
It also reduces stress, which increases with the need for control.
Journal
Writing down your feelings can bea big relief for your stress levels.
Get Support From Loved Ones
Lastly, there is no need to go through this process alone!
Chances are you have at least one loved one who also tries to control everything about life.
Ask them to join you, then meet or talk with them regularly about how the process is going.
Ask for tips, share about your experience, and learn from what they’ve accomplished.
The need for control is natural, but it can also make our lives more complicated.
With these tips, you’re able to be on your way to a happier life.
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Robinson SA, Lachman ME.Perceived control and aging: A mini-review and directions for future research.Gerontology.
An empirical study from the perspective of self-determination theory and perceived control.Behav Sci (Basel).
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