I bet someone in your life, at some point, has said this to you.
And if it made you feel bad about yourself, youre not alone.
So when is happiness something we can choose, and when is it out of our control?
Chadchai Ra-ngubpai / Moment / Getty
Read on to find out.
First of All, WhatCanWe Choose?
Say you get a bad grade on your midterm exam or apoor review at work.
But for most people, maintaining a positive attitude in the face of hardship or adversity is a choice.
In fact, its a skill you could practice.
Happiness can also be a reflection of your relationship with yourself.
What Is Happiness, Anyway?
Its hard to explain what happiness is, because it looks different to different people.
Is it a lack of things to complain about?
Is it being in a good mood all or most of the time?
Is it being financially secure, in a stable relationship, or having lots of friends?
The answer is all of the above.
Not everyone has the same definition of happiness.
Also, the things that make you happy are not necessarily the things that make someone else happy.
But that also means that the definition of happiness varies from person to person.
Do we really think that someone with depression has chosen to feel that way?
That if they had the choice to be happy, they would actively choose not to be?
No one wants to be depressed.
If you know someone who is depressed, just dont ever say, Happiness is a choice.
To them, its not.
To them, happiness is an unreachable goal, at least until theirdepressive episode subsides.
No one can will their way out of depression.
And life is not that simple.
Instead, that makes happiness a definitive destination that is easily obtainablebut its not.
So why would we tell them that happiness is a choice?
This, again, illustrates the difference between resilience and happiness.
Happiness is a choice implies that oneshouldchoose to be happy.
Feeling supported after incidents like this can lead to greater resilience in the future.
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