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Some people get what they want after issuing an ultimatum in a relationship.
However, taking this approach doesn’t always have a positive outcome.
At a minimum, it can create a wedge between partners, sometimes evenbringing the relationship to an end.
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Here we examine the impact of ultimatums in relationships, as well as when they may be beneficial.
This can help create a healthier relationship that isn’t built on demands.
What Is an Ultimatum?
Ultimatums can rear their heads in many different ways in a relationship.
The Harm of Ultimatums In Relationships
Relationship therapist and host of E!
Andrea Dindinger,LMFT, a marriage and family therapist, agrees.
Issuing an ultimatum in a relationship can be especially damaging if they’re used regularly.
But, in some instances, an ultimatum might be necessary.
Examples include:
These behaviors can take a serious toll on a relationship.
In severe cases,drug or alcohol addictioncan even be fatal.
So, ultimatums may be necessary in these instances.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Harrison explains, Ultimatums also create insecurities.
Since ultimatums don’t always produce the desired effects, what alternatives are there?
If there’s anyone who gets the privilege to witness uswhen we are vulnerable, it’s our partner.
It’s important to state clearly how their actions and behavior affect us.
We also benefit from sharing our hopes for the relationship in a trusted way.
Together, both of these approaches can help us get all the cards on the table.
Being open will allow our partners to understand exactly how we feel.
It also permits them to open up in the same way.
Setting Boundaries
Another excellent alternative to making ultimatums in relationships iscreating boundaries.
It also helps promote ourgrowth as a couple.
Speaking with acouple’s therapistcan help with both of these issues, creating a stronger relationship.
