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Why do relationships fail?
It’s a question that many ask themselves after a breakup.
While each situation is different, there are a variety of reasons why relationships dont go the distance.
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This article discusses why each may cause a relationship to come to an end.
Loss of Trust
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why does a relationship fail?”
it is important to recognize that the problem often comes down to trust.
One of the foundational feelings necessary in a good relationship is a feeling of security.
If you lack emotional support or find your partner unreliable, you might lose trust.
If your partner is vague or hard to pin down, there is cause for concern.
Relationships that are built on mistrust are on shaky ground.
Lying
Lets say you found out your partner lied to you.
Lies can have powerful consequences.
Was it a white lie or a lie told to protect the person who lied?
White lies are often minor or inconsequential whilereal lies have far-reaching effects.
Does your partner isolate you away from your friends or constantly check up on you?
These arent signs of someone who trusts you.
Remind yourself that this is notwhat a healthy relationship is all about.
But if someone is overly possessive and seems toexhibit signsof pathological jealousy, these are red flags.
You might not trust this person anymore.
Are they even who you thought they were?
Poor Communication
Poor communication is another common reason why relationships fail.
Healthy communications should be about lots of different topics.
Even if you communicate well, its okay to disagree.
Conflicts are inevitable and there are ways tomanage conflicts with effective communication skills.
Communication should be filled with empathy, understanding, andactive listening.
Unfortunately, many couples find it hard to communicate this way.
It often reflects the fact that both people areconflict avoidant.
Theyd rather not rock the boat or bring up difficult issues.
The study found that when under increased financial distress, this demand/withdraw style also increased.
Moreover, it was correlated with lower marital satisfaction, too.
But what was surprising was this interesting finding: couples who exhibited signs ofgratitude and appreciationovercame this communication problem.
Lack of Respect
Issues with respect are another common reason why relationships fail.
For example, couples often disagree about various issues, but financial issues are often a source of disagreement.
Maybe one is a spender and one is a saver.
So, its important to identify how one treats the other during a conflict about money or any issue.
Is your partner respectful?
Do they joke with you about it?
Or does your partner put you down, roll their eyes and treat you with utter contempt?
These are signs of a lack of respect for one another.
He says contempt is the biggest predictor ofdivorce, too.
If your partner mocks you, sneers, or is hostile, its a sign of disgust.
This lack of fondness and respect can cause an irreparable rift in a relationship.
A Difference in Priorities
Having conflicting priorities is another common reason why relationships fail.
Different Relationship Goals
Sometimes you have different priorities for the relationship itself.
Different Life Goals
Maybe you both have different long-term goals for the future.
For instance, you may want to continue ambitiously pursuing a career in the city for another five years.
Meanwhile, your partner is ready to settle down next year and start a family in the suburbs.
When you cant compromise or happily pursue one path, your relationship will suffer.
Having differing goals doesn’t always mean your relationship is doomed.
For example, it’s possible that your goals can influence those of the person you’re with.
This could be a mechanism that keeps the relationship more stable.
A better match might be out there for you.
Increased oxytocin is also associated with reduced levels of stress and feelings of happiness.
Whenyour partner is uninterested in sex, sometimes relationships end up strained.
The mismatch of sexual desires can erode a relationship along with other factors and ultimately contribute to a split.
Sex is very important for relationships.
These include emotional, psychological, and physical benefits.
What Can Make a Relationship Last?
In his research, he identified positive strategies that contributed to preserving partnerships.
The partners in these relationships dealt effectively with conflict and gave their partners the benefit of the doubt.
In unsatisfactory relationships, the opposite is true.
A Word From Verywell
Relationships dont endure for many reasons.
But key contributors to their demise involve issues of trust, communication, respect, priorities, and intimacy.
Frequently Asked Questions
Relationships fail for a variety of reasons and each situation is unique.
Factors such as social media and technology use can often contribute to some of these issues.
Breaking up in the early months of a relationship is very normal and common.
Once a relationship lasts longer than a year, the risk of breaking up drops significantly.
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