Disappearing can feel tempting because it may feel like a potential opportunity to hit a pause in your life.
Shame involves an uncomfortable sense of exposure that naturally leads to wanting to disappear.
It is also accompanied by a physiological response contributing to behavioral disengagement and withdrawal.
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This article offers some tips for navigating this feeling of wanting to disappear.
Find out which option is the best for you.
Take Stock
Gersten recommends noting the next time you find yourself thinkingI want to disappear.
What are you doing?
Who are you with?
How are you feeling?
These are all cues to pay attention to, no matter how big or small they seem.
Because its not really about the shopping.
Wanting to disappear is adefense mechanismshielding you from feelings you might be trying to ignore.
Do you feelsocial anxietyat a crowded grocery store?
Do you resent that your partner expects you to do the grocery shopping?
But adialectical behavioral therapyprinciple, opposite action can be helpful here.
If you’re feeling shame, this means your emotions may be telling you to isolate yourself.
Acting oppositein this case, reaching out, rather than pulling backcan decrease these feelings of shame.
Instead, a concept fromnarrative therapycalled externalization can help you change the story you’re telling yourself.
Rather than thinking, “I want to disappear,” venture to namewhatwants you to disappear.
), and we usually think a lot clearer after a break.
From there, take a look at what you’re free to change.
If I Want to Disappear, Am I Depressed or Suicidal?
You might be worried that wanting to disappear means that you are depressed or suicidal.
Gersten says that wanting to disappear doesnt necessarily equate to adiagnosis of depressionor feelings of suicide.
They can help you untangle what the feelings of fantasizing about disappearing are covering up.
A therapist may ask you if you feelother things that might point to depression.
Does it mean you are experiencing thoughts of suicide or that you simply want to get away?
If you are having suicidal thoughts, contact theNational Suicide Prevention Lifelineat988for support and assistance from a trained counselor.
If you or a loved one are in immediate danger, call 911.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
