Feeling isolated even when you’re together
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You don’t have to be alone to feel lonely.
However, it is 100% possible to be married and still lonely.
It’s more about how you feel about your connectedness to others.
Marco_Piunti/E+/Getty
Is it normal to be lonely when you’re married?
According to a 2018 survey by the AARP, being married but lonely is far from uncommon.
Nearly 33% of married people over 45 reported feeling lonely.
Just spending more time with your spouse isn’t always the solution.
After all, just being with them is no guarantee that you won’t feel lonely in their presence.
Signs of Being Married and Lonely
Living with another person isn’t a cure for loneliness.
Being Alone vs.
Being Lonely
Remember that solitude isn’t the same thing as loneliness.
you’re free to be alone, but not lonely.
Why Are People Married but Lonely?
Stressful Events
Sometimes the challenges that couples face together can create rifts in a relationship.
In these cases, you may find yourself feeling abandoned and lonely even after the stressful event is resolved.
Lack of Vulnerability
Not being vulnerablewith your partner can also lead to feelings of isolation.
This increase in loneliness was likely worsened as a result of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Recap
Loneliness in a marriage can be resulting from a number of different things.
Effects of Being Married and Lonely
Loneliness is an emotionally painful experience.
It’s also one that many people don’t talk about.
Some ways loneliness might affect you include:
Feelings of loneliness can also affect your well-being in other ways.
It might also impact your sleep or cause feelings ofstressandnegative thinkingthat can also be detrimental to your health.
If this sense of loneliness is one-sided, it might be more difficult to address.
This can cause your partner to feel attacked and becomedefensive.
Spend More Time Together
Getting more quality time with your spouse is another important step.
Limiting your social media use may also be helpful.
As the research suggests, heavy social media use may contribute to increased feelings of isolation and loneliness.
It can also contribute to unrealistic expectations about your own relationship.
Limiting your social media use can also have other benefits, including more time to spend with your partner.
If you are feeling lonely in your marriage, you might take steps to fix the problem.
Talking to your spouse is an essential first step.
Spending more time together can also help you feel more connected.
Couples therapy can also be effective for improving different aspects of your relationship.
Takeaways
It’s important to remember that every marriage is different.
And every relationship will have a natural ebb and flow, which may include periods of feeling less connected.
Getting to the bottom of the issue now can help you work toward building a healthier relationship.
Frequently Asked Questions
The reasons you feel married and lonely are likely complex and varied.
Stressful events, poor communication, lack of intimacy, and unrealistic expectations can also play a part.
The first step toward overcoming loneliness in a relationship is to discuss the problem with your spouse.
They might be feeling the same way, or they might be completely unaware of the problem.
If you’re still struggling, it can also be helpful to talk to a professional couple’s therapist.
It is also sometimes referred to as ‘sudden divorce syndrome’ or ‘neglected wife syndrome.’
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Xia N, Li H.Loneliness, social isolation, and cardiovascular health.Antioxid Redox Signal.
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