After all, you are divorced for a reason (or many reasons) and presumably havemoved on.
But remarriage does occur, and may be more common than you realized.
According to one study, as many as 10% to 15% of all divorced couples will reconcile.
Markus Bernhard / Taxi / Getty Images
Or, maybetime did heal all wounds.
Whatever the reason, remarriage between divorced couples does happen on occasion.
Why Divorced Couples Get Remarried
The reasons for getting remarried vary from couple to couple.
They may wonder what they could have done differently or if the marriage could have been salvaged.
It won’t be easy.
And, statistically speaking, the odds are against you.
Second marriages often end in divorce more often than first marriages.
In fact, according toPsychology Today"… a whopping 60% of remarriages fail.
Other states have legally mandated waiting periods for remarriage after divorce.
During that time, address the reasons why you divorced in the first place.
After all, you are marrying the same person.
Work on improving your chances of having a successful second marriage to your current ex-spouse.
Unresolved and unfinished business will resurface.Together, you better honestly look atwhat caused your divorce.
If the marriage failed because of finances, be clear on how you will spend money.
If problems revolved around parenting issues, work this conflict out first.
If the divorce was due to infidelity, process the unfaithfulness, forgive, andrebuild trust.
You also may want to read marriage books together and take a marriage workshop or course.
Building a new foundation takes time and effort.
Take a Personal Inventory
When divorce happens, no one is blameless.
Even ifinfidelitywas the primary reason for the divorce, there are bound to be other issues in the marriage.
Admit to your role and responsibility in what went wrong in your first marriage.
You also need to keep things completely honest between the two of you.
There should be no game-playing, no mind-reading, and no unspokenexpectations.
Share with one another your hopes, dreams, and feelings.
Consider Your Children
Getting back together just for the sake of the kids is a bad idea.
Get back together because you love (and like) one another and want to be married again.
If you do have children, don’t let them know you’re dating again for a while.
They could get their hopes up that you will reconcile.
Be Realistic
It is important to recognize that the first marriage is dead.
As hard as this may be, do not let that ghost hurt your new marriage.
Don’t dwell on the mistakes you made in the previous marriage.
Instead, focus on your future together.
Also, see to it you have reasonable expectations before remarrying your ex.
At the core, you will be marrying the same person.
Some of the old, annoying habits will still be there.
And if you discover thatthings aren’t right, trust your gut and end the relationship.
Take time to understand the dynamics of your relationship more fully before getting married again.
2016; 57(5): 317-337. doi:10.1080/10502556.2016.1185089
Marano HE.Divorced?
Don’t even think of remarrying until you read this!.Psychology Today.
