We all wear masks.
Its normal to want to feel accepted.
But in the context of a more rigid professional environment, the stakes are much higher.
Verywell / Madelyn Goodnight
When youre a kid and maybe a bit of an oddball, people are usually pretty accepting of it.
Youre encouraged to speak your mind openly, express yourself creatively, and make mistakes as you grow.
For me, a person with ADHD, it happened in high school.
Enter: the mask.
I changed how I interacted, mirrored peoples energy, and painstakingly monitored everything I said.
And as such, we learn to abandon ourselves for approval.
Masking is such a tricky thing to overcome.
“Many of us were taught that the comfort of others was a priority over our own comfort.
And as such, we learn to abandon ourselves for approval.”
For instance, employees are generally expected to exercise tactful diplomacy at work.
This means choosing words carefully, hiding emotional reactions, minding workplace politics, and reading between the lines.
Small talk is also a must.
And because masking is associated with avoiding stigma, it can exacerbate feelings of shame surrounding a diagnosis.
It takes mental energy to act differently than your natural tendencies," says Tuckman.
“Worse, though, is when someone internalizes that difference.
If they only knew, they wouldn’t respect me anymore.'
Or even worse if they feel shame about it.
This can lead to anxiety and depression, along with problematic ways of dealing with that suffering.”
Ari Tuckman, PsyD
It takes mental energy to act differently than your natural tendencies.
Worse, though, is when someone internalizes that difference.
If they only knew, they wouldn’t respect me anymore.'
More research is needed, of course.
Is It Ever Ok to Unmask at Work?
Masking certainly isnt all bad, as it can be a useful tool in your neurodivergent management toolbox.
Some situations are more forgiving than others," says Tuckman.
“I wear headphones (sans music!)
If Im in a conference room with a high-top table, I always stand instead of sit.
Will people actually be so bothered if you stim?
Can you suggest meeting times that are more in line with when your brain is the most alert?
Who really cares if you talk too much or sometimes interrupt in meetings?
Doesn’t it show eagerness and enthusiasm about the subject?
Its little adjustments like these and the reframing of behaviors that can encourage a mindset of self-acceptance.
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Slobodin O, Davidovitch M.Gender differences in objective and subjective measures of adhd among clinic-referred children.Front Hum Neurosci.
