My latest Hinge match is a testament to this.
A first date at a sushi restaurantwhat could go wrong?
Then, as soon as we settled down, he insisted on ordering for me.
Verywell Mind / Getty
Both experiences left a sour taste in my mouth and turned me off completely, giving me the ick.
Just what is the ick, you wonder?
Everyone has different icks, from being rude to waitstaff to talking with food in your mouth.
To get more insight into some common icks, I spoke to nine people about their biggest dating icks.
I met a guy while traveling in Bristol.
“He was super into me, calling me every day.
He even booked tickets to come to Paris to see me.
Two days before he was set to arrive, he called and canceled, saying, Were not compatible.
This behavior can be particularly hurtful because it feels like being part of someones game without knowing it.
They just sound fatphobic.
It feels icky and patriarchal!
Think about that one guy whos always liking your stories but never replies to your DMs.
Or, your crush calling you almost every night but never asking you out on an official date.
Just last week you were head over heels, and now you have to fall back?
Make it make sense, just.
You arrive on your first date with someone youve been messaging on Hinge for a few days.
You have good conversations on the app and youre excited to see if the vibes transfer IRL.
By the end, he was tired and ready to go home.
“Im a pretty optimistic person, so when someone is overwhelmingly negative, it just feels draining.
People Talking Over You and Taking Up All the Airtime!
I would love to see you again!
at the end of the night.
Been there, done that.
Listening is a real skill, and not many people possess it…
This can stir up the ick feeling early on.
Poor hygieneand a dirty living space are frequent dating complaints, says Turner.
Hello, Tinder Swindler.
Honestly, just break out the nail clippers already.
Yikes, talk about an obvious red flag.
Ahead, experts outline some tips for how to be more considerate and engaged in your search for love.
If youre nervous about asking the important questions (e.g., Do you want kids in the future?
What are your thoughts on marriage?)
If being your authentic self gives someone the ick, that just means they werent your person.
Consider Having a Conversation First
Listen, dating isnt easy.
It can bring up insecurities, past hurts, and other challenges, Turner admits.
For this reason, its important to approach dating with compassion for both yourself and others, she says.
They might not be aware that theyre doing these things that are offensive or off-putting, she adds.
Depending on the situation and your comfort level, you could decide to offer the other person gentle feedback.
Keep in Mind
How easily you catch the ick depends on various factors includingyour attachment style.
Remember, althoughrejection is difficult, its a normal part of dating, she also adds.
Keep going because the next person you meet might just lead to something great.
