It is common for one person to be scapegoated, but it can happen with more than one person.
It’s unfair and frustrating, and it can do a real number on your sense of self.
Family Scapegoating at a Glance
Who becomes the family scapegoat is complex.
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It can be based on birth order, gender, physical characteristics, or identity.
It’s often a form of projection in which adults mistreat a child who reminds them of someone else.
If you’ve endured scapegoating, it’s important to prioritize your well-being and heal from the childhood trauma.
Origins of the Term “Scapegoat”
The term scapegoat originates from the Bible.
For example, biological children might be treated differently from stepchildren or adopted children in the home.
Being a scapegoat or a favorite is never about a childs inherent worth as a human being.
Parents who scapegoat their kidstend to lack the ability to introspect and understand their projections.
They might have been raised indysfunctional familiesin whichsome children were scapegoats and others were golden children.
Effects of Being a Scapegoat
Clearly, being a scapegoat puts children at a disadvantage.
Meanwhile, the golden child typically remainsenmeshedin this harmful family system.
In other words, being a scapegoat may give someone the ability to see atoxic familyfor what it is.
Moreover, scapegoats very often decide to end the generationalcycle of abusewhen they start their own families.
Be prepared for other relatives, friends, or even strangers to convince you to rethink your boundaries.
Its easy for outsiders to assume that because they had loving parents, everyone else did as well .
Some people may also get confused by a parents public persona.
Some scapegoats might also decide to cut contact if they believe the childhood abuse they endured was unforgivable.
Low contact might mean communicating with family members only via text, email, or phone call.
How you move forward is up to you.
Recommended Reading
Cambridge Dictionary.Scapegoating.
Ed Stetzer.The Atonement and the Scapegoat: Leviticus 16 by Dr. Kenneth Mathews.
Predicting favoritism and disfavoritism in mother-adult child relations.J Marriage Fam.
2021;14:1091-1099. doi:10.2147/PRBM.S317389
Wetzel E, Robins RW.Are parenting practices associated with the development of narcissism?
Findings from a longitudinal study of Mexican-origin Yyouth.J Res Pers.
