Do not forget, it is not your fault

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Hello!

We have been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.

Can you provide your personal informationSSNs, home address, bank statementsto verify your identity, like?

Person staring at screen

Michela Buttignol / Verywell Mind / Getty Images

Scamcalls, emails, and even text messages have become a daily occurrence.

The emotional recovery after a scam can be difficult.

Victims might experience embarrassment, shame, and guilt, not to mentionfinancial stress.

Understanding the Emotional Impact of Being Scammed

Realizing you have been scammed often comes as a shock.

The initial realization can be jarring.

I was happy to donate $10 to their cause."

Then, when I closed it there was a notification saying $3,300 had been withdrawn.

Scammers use effectivetacticsto get what they want.

The scammer might have built your trust and pretended to be a friend to you before the betrayal.

Or, they might have used psychologicaltactics to scareyou into compliance.

Either way, the realization that you have been tricked can be very emotional.

They can blame themselves for ‘not knowing better.'"

Your feelings are a reflection of your experience, and they are valid.

With that said, some emotional responses are common among scam victims.

After being scammed, some people experiencedenial.

A lot of scams involve complexemotional manipulation."

For similar reasons, many people feel ashamed or embarrassed when they realize they have been scammed.

According to Kate: After it happened, my immediate feelings wereshameand embarrassment.

How could I have been so stupid?

Im a gullible and over-trusting idiot.

That really got to my head.

I was basically blaming myself for letting it happen to me.

It was also so violating, getting robbed, especially when I was trying to do something altruistic.

People feel ashamed after being scammed because their trust was violated.

They can blame themselves for ‘not knowing better.’

Angeris another common emotion scam victims experience.

After months with no delivery, she realized the company had scammed her: I never felt shame.

Only anger and frustration through the process of getting my money back.

They had $13K of my money and I had no website.

I wanted vindication and my money back.

Even though she won her complaint, it took more than four months and immeasurable amounts of stress.

Kate struggled significantly after her experience, too.

My usual trusting nature turned to paranoia," she admits.

Recovering from that emotional turmoil is difficult and takes time.

Emotional Recovery and Restoring Confidence

So, how can you cope with theemotional impact of being scammed?

It is not easy.

Like any stressful event, recovering emotionally and regaining your confidence after a scam takes time.

Dr. Campbell recommendsprioritizing your emotional well-being: “Recovering from a scam should prioritize emotional healing.

Connecting with others who have experienced similar situations can quickly alleviate feelings of isolation and shame.

If thats not an option, confiding in someone you trust can provide valuable support.”

True safety comes from cultivating trusted connections with those close to you."

True safety comes from cultivating trusted connections with those close to you.

First, challenge your perception about what kind of person falls victim to a scam.

As Ashley said, Dont feel ashamed - its the scammers who should feel ashamed.

Letting go of self-blame and shame can help you move past what happened.

You canrebuild your confidenceby empowering yourself.

After her experience, that is what Ashley did: By taking my power and my story back.

I didn’t give up.

I got mad a lot but I never gave up.

She ended up using this skill to create a whole new side business helping others build websites.

Moving Forward

Of course, it may not be possible to get justice after a scam.

Many scammers are essentially shadows who disappear after getting what they want.

In that case,accepting the outcomecan help you move on.

If you feel comfortable, you might share your story and help others protect themselves.

Remember, scams are easy to spot in hindsight.

It is simple to say, Of course that was a scam!

when you know how the story ends, but at the moment, things are not so simple.

If you are struggling emotionally after a scam, talking to a therapist can help.

They can help you process what happened, build coping skills, and learn to trust again.

Pay attention to news about new tactics scammers are using, and be on guard.

If yourgut warns you against something, listen to it.

Ashley also recommends using your credit card: Stress less with their fraud protection.

And do not forget, it is not your fault.

Federal Trade Commission,New FTC Data Show Consumers Reported Losing Nearly $8.8 Billion to Scams in 2022.

Hanoch Y, Wood S.The scams among us: who falls prey and why.Curr Dir Psychol Sci.

2021;30(3):260-266.