Experts in This Article
Read ahead for expert tips on how to respond to a narcissist.
The experts also shared some phrases that can help you disarm a narcissist in a conversation or argument.
They may resort tomanipulation, lies, or personal attacks to get a rise out of you.
Johnny Greig / Getty Images
Alana Carvalho, LMHC
When it comes to dealing with a narcissist, less is more.
The less you give, the less they will have to use to manipulate you.
The more information you provide, the more likely you are to get into a back-and-forth with them.
You may find yourself struggling to meet their expectations and needing to set boundaries for protect yourself.
It can be helpful to get things in writing so you have proof of the truth.
Remember that none of their behavior is your fault,evenif youve made some kind of mistake.
This exercise can help you see how unreasonable and difficult theyre being.
She also explains how each of these phrases can help you diffuse the situation and disengage from it.
That doesnt work for me.
Narcissists may venture to make decisions for you without consulting you.
Its important to speak up for yourself and let them know if youre not OK with what theyve decided.
I can understand how you feel, but I feel differently.
You dont need to give a shot to prove who is right or wrong.
you could feel and see a situation differently and thats fine.
Trying to prove your point will give them more ammunition to use against you.
I dont see myself that way.
I remember it differently.
Let them know that you remember what really happened so they cant manipulate events.
Don’t let them make you doubt yourself.
Setting boundaries for the conversation upfront can help ensure that the conversation is more respectful.
Otherwise, you dont have to discuss that particular subject with them.
Im not going to explain why this is important to me but it is.
In such situations, you might uphold whats important to you without giving big explanations.
Im not willing to talk about that.
You dont have to justify your reasons for not wanting to discuss it.
If you continue to speak to me like that, I will walk away.
If the conversation is becomingtoxic, you should probably make it clear that you will not tolerate their disrespect.
State your boundaries clearly but firmly.
Im going to step away from this conversation.
Its important to stick to your boundaries.
Realize when you’re gonna wanna disengage and step away to get clarity.
Thank you for inviting me, but Im not available.
Narcissistic behavior can often cross the line and turn intoabuse.
If you live with a narcissistic abuser, there are resources that can help.
If you are in immediate danger, call911.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
2020;15(1):150-172. doi:10.1177/1745691619873350
