They probably won’t like me anyway."
They are often unrealistic, unhelpful, or even downright catastrophic.
There are ways to identify and cope withintrusive thoughtsheres what you better know.
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What Are Intrusive Thoughts, Exactly?
First things first: we need to understand what intrusive thoughtsareto understand how they can impact relationships.
“Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts that can type your mind without warning.
“All it means is you had a thought that doesn’t feel good.”
Intrusive Thoughts Are Common
It turns out that intrusive thoughts are widespread.
It’s critical to differentiate OCD from intrusive thoughts as a whole.
Williams adds these compulsions are habitual responses to the individual’s intrusive thoughts.
She describes them as “ritualistic” and notes they may disrupt daily life.
On their own, intrusive thoughts don’t create compulsive habits.
She says that unless interacted with, intrusive thoughts tend to last mere seconds.
Identifying Intrusive Thoughts in Relationships
Dating can be a scary experience.
There is a lot of uncertainty around everything from if theyll like you to how safe youll be.
Your thoughts may become more specific, such as a fear of shouting something rude randomly.
The uncomfortable nature of this can create anxiety and doubt, explains Ficken.
These negative emotions can make focusing on and enjoying your date more challenging.
Unfortunately, intrusive thoughts won’t necessarily limit themselves to the beginning stages of a relationship.
But their appearance doesnt indicate something is wrong with your relationship.
You may love andtrust your partnercompletely, but intrusive thoughts can still appear.
In some cases, intrusive thoughts about relationships may be a form of OCD.
This is commonly referred to asrelationship obsessive-compulsive disorder(ROCD).
Symptoms of the condition are linked to decreased relationship functioning and decreased mood.
The first step is identifying your intrusive thoughts and labeling them as such.
Pay attention to when negative thoughts like this reoccur and how you feel when experiencing them.
The sensation may be mental or physical like chest tightening, says Farina.
Show Yourself Compassion
A crucial part of dealing with intrusive thoughts is having compassion for yourself.
Part of this process might involve looking at yourattachment styleand the impact of previous relationshipsromantic and otherwise.
Challenge Intrusive Thoughts
In some cases, you may choose to disprove an intrusive thought.
If they don’t line up, it can help reassure you that your intrusive thoughts have no merit.
Use Mindfulness
you’re free to explore your thoughts and history deeper throughmeditationand mindfulness.
This process allows you to notice an intrusive thought has occurred without engaging with or fueling it.
When youre in a good relationship, you have a person who supports and cares for you.
They can also help you navigate intrusive thoughts, alongside other loved ones and mental health professionals.
Lurie recommends determining your goal in sharing these thoughts with your partner before beginning the conversation.
Do you want their support or reassurance?
Are you looking to bond further?
“Remember, you aren’t your thoughts,” Ficken emphasizes.
So why is your intrusive thought any different?
The only difference is one feels silly, and the other is scary.
Take the judgment out, and what are you left with?”
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