Is it bad when the give-and-take drives everything?
It’s give and take with a bit of quid pro quo.
“It is also not unusual for more casual social connections to have a transactional nature.”
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This punch in of give-and-take arrangement is intended to benefit each person involved.
Such relationships are based on mutualreciprocity.
However, by the very definition of this kind of relationship, there is little room for meaningful connection.
The relationship between a customer and a service provider is also transactional.
They provide the work, and you pay them for it.
These are pretty straightforward examples of a transactional relationship.
This also affects political relationships on a much larger scale.
On some level, most people expect that there will be some mutual back-and-forth with their partner.
This is natural and healthy; otherwise, it might become aone-sided relationship.
In Your Friendships
Friendships can often have some transactional elements, especially for more casual connections.
That doesn’t mean that friendships are purely transactional, however.
Each person can contribute in different ways to a relationship.
In most cases, people don’t help their friends just because they expect a return on the favor.
You help because you care, and you know they will be there for you when you need it.
For most distant friendships and acquaintanceships, the relationship might be much more transactional in nature.
Healthy relationships, whether or not they are romantic, involve giving things willingly without expecting something in return.
For most people, economic realities dictate such relationships.
In the workplace, for example, we exchange our labor for the money we need to live.
This can help ensure that the exchange goes smoothlyplus, it minimizes the risks of misunderstandings and disappointments.
If unexpected challenges pop up, you could adapt and find ways to cope with what’s happening.
This flexibility is important for creating a trusting, long-lasting connection that stands the test of time.
Be Fair
Agreements should be transparent, open, and satisfactory to each person.
If a relationship is balanced and equitable, it’s more likely to endure.
see to it that you always follow through on the promises that you make in a transactional relationship.
If you miss deadlines, your employer may feel they cant trust you to manage important projects.
Has what you’ve given up so you can create this dynamic been worth what you’ve gained?
If this dynamic isn’t comfortable for you, it’s important to address the issue.
That means talking to the other person about the problem and how it makes you feel.
In some cases, you might find that the other person has been feeling much the same way.
Remember, how you feel matters.
Keep In Mind
Transactional relationships are important in many areas of life.
Such relationships are founded on clear communication, mutual reciprocity, and trust.
You might also consider discussing the issue with acouples therapist.
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2018;9(1):2474. doi:10.1038/s41467-018-04925-y
Poulsen SS.Reciprocity in couples and families.
In: Lebow JL, Chambers AL, Breunlin DC, eds.Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy.
Friendship reciprocity and its effects on school outcomes among adolescents.Soc Sci Res.
2018;89(1):188-204. doi:10.1111/cdev.12712
