Boundaries keep you safe from people or situations that might be hurtful, upsetting, or toxic.
What Boundaries Look Like
Heres an example.
You have communicated this to her, but her behavior does not change.
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So, what happened here?
Someone was doing something to you that made you feel bad.
You also explained what would happen if that person did not respect your wishes, and you followed through.
This is whatsetting a boundarylooks like.
What Manipulation Looks Like
Imagine this.
You have repeatedly asked your partner tohelp you with choresaround the house, and they have consistently ignored you.
They tell you that if you bother them with this again, they will pack up and leave you.
The Verdict?
They request that you give them time to decompress after work before asking about chores.
No harsh threats, no unfair comparisonsjust a reasonable request and a just as reasonable reaction.
How Do You Tell the Difference Between Boundaries and Manipulation?
One main difference between setting a boundary and manipulation isrespect.
So, What Do You Do If Someone Is Trying to Manipulate You?
Ask them to explain what they need from you specifically, and why.
If they can tell you whats bothering them, thats the first step towards compromise and healthy boundaries.
Boundaries are one thing; manipulation for the other persons sole benefit is another.
What If I’m the One Being Manipulative?
Weve all tried to manipulate circumstances in our favor at one time or another.
Weve all also needed to set boundaries with people in our lives.
You may not even realize you were engaging in manipulative behaviors.
Takeaways
Theres a fine line between setting a boundary and manipulating someone.
But while setting boundaries is healthy, manipulation is toxic.
If you feel threatened or tasked with something impossible or inappropriate, you might be the victim of manipulation.
