This includes all the traumas and heart-breaking moments.
Eventually there has to be a release.
And too often that is in an explosive way.
Tim Tadder / Getty Images
As human beings, regardless of gender, we have a combination of masculine and feminine traits.
Being a strong man doesnt mean you cant show weakness or cry.
Being a successful man doesnt mean you have to marry or become a c-suite executive.
You get to decide.
Effects of toxic masculinity:
Violence and Aggression
Masculinity becomes fragile through its rigidity.
Other times it is inwardly expressed, through depression, addiction, or suicide, East writes.
Men are perceived as more violent than women and as evidenced by the crime rates, they are.
Male violence is a problem, but so is male victimization.
A lot of times that violence or that anger is a way to protect vulnerability.
He ended up in prison, was convicted of murder, and ultimately committed suicide.
He had been asking for help for so long on so many occasions, says Blake.
We all failed him in life.
Society often puts pressure on men to be men in the traditional sense, rather than simply be human.
For men, vulnerability is often neglected, dismissed, or combated.
Men, like women, experience anxiety, depression, and mental illness.
Most men are simply in survival mode, says Dan Doty, co-founder of EVRYMAN.
For Black boys, in particular, the expectations and misconceptions can be dangerous.
Exilus points out that minority men, in particular, have to do a lot more work every day.
They need space, time to rest, and the opportunity to share and/or express their anger.
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We need to teach young men from an early age that its good to express emotions, says Exilus.
Boys and young men are, by nature, in great need of guidance, says Doty.
We need men to be role models for the new generation.
It all starts with teaching boys to not be men, but to be humans, says Blake.
This should not be a gender issue.
Once we make this a human issue, toxic masculinity will fade.
Boys Must Be Taught How to Deal With Negative Feelings
Anger is judged upon.
Bottling it up doesnt do anything, says Exilus.
We need to offer men ways to deal with that anger.
Exilus recommends focusing on five sensations and counting down if youre feeling angry or frustrated.
Sit with the breath and be wherever you are without having to drain yourself of energy.
Houndstooth Press; 2020.
U.S Department of Justice.Criminal Victimization, 2018.
Starr SB.Law & Economics Working Papers.Estimating Gender Disparities in Federal Criminal Cases.
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.About Multiple Cause of Death, 1999-2018.
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