Do these sound familiar?
It is possible, however, to break the cycle.
What Does a Dysfunctional Family Look Like?
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A dysfunctional family can vary from one household to another.
Let’s take a look at some ways they can present.
Emotionally Unavailable
In some families, parents or caregivers areemotionally unavailable.
They might be cold and withhold physical affection or encouraging words because they grew up in a similar environment.
They may have anauthoritarian parenting styleand believe the adage that children should be seen and not heard.
Sometimes, parents might be emotionally unavailable because theyre depleted.
These circumstances dont leave parents much energy to nourish their childrens unique emotional needs.
Parents in the throes of addiction are also emotionally unavailable.
They may be physically present, but emotionally absent because theyre high or chasing their next fix.
In essence, the codependent parent spends more time on the partners addiction than on raising children.
Neither the sober parent nor the addicted parent is available to the minors in the home.
The children in this environment learn that its okay for a parents addiction to take priority over their needs.
Simply put, the parents in these families are out of control.
They may be rageaholics who take out their personal problems on their children and each other.
They may view their families as possessions rather than as human beings with their own needs.
Children in these families experience the ultimate betrayal.
They cant count on their caretakers to love, protect, and respect them.
They grow up feeling scared, ashamed, unworthy, and lonely.
As adults, they may develop anxiety, depression, substance use, personality, or post-traumatic stress disorders.
What Causes Dysfunctional Families?
Dysfunctional familiesare fertile ground for neglect, abuse, secrecy,addiction, or denial.
In these family systems, childrens emotional needs go unmet because the parents needs take precedence.
One or both parents might be suffering from asubstance use disorder,personality disorder, ormood disorder.
No parent is perfect, but in dysfunctional families, the problems in the household are ignored or denied.
They might evenscapegoat one childto divert attention away from the troubles in the household.
But others might find the level of dysfunction they endured growing up difficult to gauge.
After all, every family has problems.
How can people tell if their family wasnt just imperfect but downright toxic?
Moreover, children dont have the life experience to know whats normal or abnormal behavior for parents or caretakers.
At that point, they may realize theyd never treat their children as they were treated growing up.
To gain insight into how dysfunctional your family was (or is), review the following questions.
Answering ‘yes’ to even one of these questions might indicate that your family of origin was dysfunctional.
To cope with thesenegative emotions, you might engage in the same unhealthy coping mechanisms that your parents did.
Examples include lashing out at others, self-medicating with drugs or alcohol, overspending, or overeating.
Fortunately, you’ve got the option to take concrete action to break the pattern of family dysfunction.
You might need to limit contact with your relatives as you work on your recovery.
Brown University.Dysfunctional Family Relationships.
JAMA data pipe Open.
2018;1(7):e184493.
