Photo by AboutCONSENT
Consider what comes to mind when you think of the termconsent.
Culturally, we tend to think of consent as various acts of permission that are granted on one-off occasions.
When Rivera was 17 years old, her sister disclosed the sexual abuse she experienced.
Photo by AboutCONSENT
Around age 27, she felt that pull to come back to survivor advocacy, and began documentary photography.
However, the content of the work was all too much.
I didnt realize why I was being triggered, I didnt realize all the suppressed memories, she explained.
That was until she had children.
How do I know these people are safe?
she recalls asking herself.
This question felt overwhelming to the point she experienced apanic attack.
Initially, I didnt come out and say I am a survivor.
The path illuminated itself and in 2019, she officially createdCONSENTparentingTM.
What Is CONSENTparentingTM?
I also wasnt so aware that this was having a mental health impact on parents, explains Rivera.
In her most recentTED talk, she shares the story of two girls.
One grew up learning about consent as a young girl.
She was never pressured to hug relatives.
She learned to ask her peers for consent too, respecting if they didnt want to be touched.
The other girl was not taught any of these values.
She was given the message that her body is not her own and it isnt okay to say no.
Mistakenly, shed cross othersboundaries, leading to interpersonal issues with her peers.
Because she hadnt learned differently, she raised her children the same way.
This tale of two girls illustrates the core of consent parenting.
HerInstagramis a wealth of free information as well.
For those who are struggling to navigate teaching their children about consent, she suggests prioritizingself-care.
Breaking it down to a fundamental level, she suggests beginning withsleep.
Whensleep is prioritized, then there can be more patience.
With more patience can come compassion for self and energy to sustain the challenging journey of consent education.
This self-defeating belief is often indicative of how others have treated us.
Rivera serves as an example of this truth.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Melmer MN, Gutovitz S.Child sexual abuse and neglect.
Treasure Island, FL.StatPearls Publishing; 2023.
2019;6(10):830-839. doi:10.1016/S2215-0366(19)30286-X
