It’s an age-old question we’ve all asked ourselves at one point or another after a relationship ends.
In many cases, this is probably a bad idea…but not always!
There are many reasons why you may want to revisit a former relationship.
Alina Rudya/Bell Collective / Getty Images
Perhaps youre seeing your ex in a different light or circumstances have changed in your own life.
Maybe you moved back to your hometown and want to check out a former crush.
Either way, you’re looking to rekindle those special feelings and it’s totally worth a shot!
At a Glance
Rekindling a romantic relationship isn’t the right move for everyone.
But if you’ve decided the situation is right, then we support you!
There are, however, some important things to keep in mind if you decide to move forward.
Maybe you’ve gotten swept up in memories of the fun times, happy vacations, and loving years.
Consider the Reasons You Split Up
First, ask yourself why you both broke up.
Was it your decision or theirs?
What was the reason for calling it quits?
Ouremotionshelp us make decisions and thrive but they also can take over our clear-sighted thinking.
Keller cautions, Just because youmisssomeone doesn’t mean that you are meant tobewith them.
This is how memory works with most peoplewe remember the good and the bad gets fuzzier in the distance.
Ask Yourself if You Think the Relationship Can Actually Work
What if youre questioning their potential?
On the other hand, maybe they’re also aworkaholicwho doesnt keep their promises.
Are you hanging on to the hope this person will change whenthey dont want to change?
As Keller reminds, see if youre doubting yourself.
), then would we still be together?"
Keller says it’s important to remember that these thoughts are indicative of the bargaining stage.
The idea is to use the pain, learn from the past, and let it pass.
What If Your Heart Hurts?
If your heart aches for your ex, you may think its true love and meant to be.
Though our hearts may be hurting, our brains are very much involved in our romantic affairs.
Think about what kind of relationship you want to build together?
How will you know you have this kind of relationship?
Is it possible to create something long-lasting and solid with this particular person?
Or, maybe youre currently remaining in a relationship that has difficulties.
Maybe its a long-term marriage, lets say, but you want to find ways to revitalize it.
For example,surprise your loved one with little things.
Often relationships suffer because we take someone for granted and get caught up in our work or families.
Sometimes we forget to nurture our loved one or ourselves while in the relationship.
Take the time to recharge and and devote some time to self-care.
Then, make your relationship a priority.
