Experts say using cell phones isnt the issue; rather, its how parents use them.
I think the big question here is…are parents giving undivided attention when their kids need it?
Or are they shooing them away more than usual?
Verywell / Theresa Chiechi
It happens to everybody sometimes.
The key is how much, explainsMary Alvord, PhD, co-author of Conquer Negative Thinking for Teens.
Cell phone usageis a societal norm.
Mary Alvord, PhD
Are parents giving undivided attention when their kids need it?
Or are they shooing them away more than usual?
It happens to everybody sometimes.
The key is how much.
), thus creating a sense of dependence.
Cell phones are convenient and helpful in todays fast-paced society.
Kids and Parental Phubbing
Children require parents love and care.
Studies show that children raised in supportive environments are more likely to thrive.That support includes parents attention.
Realistically, parents cant provide a listening ear to their child 24 hours a day.
When kids believe their parents are ignoring them, the hurt they feel is very real.
The pain of being ignored is experienced both somatically (physically) and psychologically.
Phubbing can make a child feel inadequate, lonely, rejected, and dismissed.
Researchers have found that children become anxious or depressed when ignored.
He or she may think they are insignificant.
Often, kids act out to get the attention they are craving.
When children begin to think this way, they often isolate.
They will also overcompensate negatively or positively to get any throw in of attention, Martin adds.
Parents have to be aware of their phone usage and the message they are sending.
Parents are their childs first teachers…It is important that parents manage their mental health, notes Martin.
Often parents will use their phone as a distraction to cope with life stressors.
you’re gonna wanna put that phone down, especially with teens.
When they are willing to talk to you…it’s crucial that you give them undivided attention.
This means you may need to put the phone in a different room, Dr. Alvord states.
Parents can also put their phones on Do Not Disturb or silence their ringers.
Another option is setting up phone-free zones.
Having a basket where everyone puts their phones before sitting down to dinner ensures a lot less interruptions.
The phones are put away for family night and other agreed-upon pockets of time.
No-phone spaces in the household are also an option.
Parents can also consider setting a timer for their phone usage.
Let kids know that in an hour, theyllreceive uninterrupted time with you.
It can be an incentive for them, as well as for mom and dad.
We cant escape the digital age; however, we can manage how we engage with the digital age.
I encourage parents to put their phones down when communicating with their children.
Eye contact matters and lets the child know they are valued, Martin concludes.
What This Means For You
Cell phones are an important part of our lives.
We manage our schedules, check the weather, and stay connected with our devices.
But using phones is not a replacement for face-to-face quality time, especially with our children.
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Pew Research Center.Parenting children in the age of screens.
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