Like anything else in life worth having, relationships take work.
Some couples successfully weather the storms that inevitably arise, while others simply drift apart.
When it comes to coupling, there is no instruction manual.
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If only it were that simple.
While some couples follow this traditional trajectory, many people do not.
Every relationship, like every individual, is unique.
A couple’s ability to navigate these stages is often the key to their relationship satisfaction.
Here are the stages they’ve found, along with ways to successfully navigate each one.
What makes this stage so magical?
You forgiveeverythingin these early stages.
The other person has faults, and you see them, but it doesnt matter.
Good things outweigh the negative here."
How Long Will It Last?
How long does theromanticphase last?
Studies have estimated the euphoric stage can last anywhere from six months to two years.
Brown explains, “We don’t know why this is.
I don’t necessarily think it’s because they have found theirsoulmates.
I think it’s the person.
Some people have an easier time rekindling the earlier stages.
Not to say the rest of us can’t.”
Youre not thinking about [your partner] 24 hours a day.
Its easier to do other things in your life.
Couples that had been married for at least one year described love differently.
Its richer, deeper, its knowing them better," says Brown.
Memories have been integratedboth positive and negativeyouve gone through some difficulties, and youve developed a strong attachment.
The Crisis Stage
The third stage is often the make-or-break point for relationships.
What happens at this stage is crucial to what comes next.
Brown refers to this as the “seven-year or five-year itch.”
Almost every relationship has a drift apart phase, says Brown.
Either you will keep drifting, or you will come back together.
If a couple canovercome a crisissuccessfully, they will then move on to the next stage: deep attachment.
The Deep Attachment Stage
The deepattachmentstage is the calm after the storm.
When describing this stage of relationships, the term that Brown reiterates is calm.
When couples have been together for many years.
Its just very very calm.
The deep attachment stage can last a long time.
If youre lucky, it can last a lifetime.
Keeping It Going
How can we keep love going?
According to researchers, one of the most effective ways ofkeeping the spark aliveis novelty.
The benefits of new and challenging experiences together are enormous.
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The Harvard Mahoney Neuroscience Institute; 2015.
The Anatomy of Love.Who we are.
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Association for Psychological Science.Romance research roundup.
Oxford University Press; 2013. doi:10.1093/oxfordhb/9780195398694.013.0005
Voice of America.Love is a matter of the brain.
