What topics are you comfortable discussing?

What questions are you willing to answer?

What topics are absolutely off-limits for you?

You dont have to convince the person of your discomfort or justify your refusal to talk about something.

No excuses or persuasive arguments are necessary.

You put up a boundary, that’s in your control.

What is not in your control, is if they respect that boundary, Jeshanah Nikki Siangio explained.

You put up a boundary, that’s in your control.

What is not in your control, is if they respect that boundary.

In situations where your boundaries arent being respected, you better show that there are consequences for overstepping them.

Come up with consequences that youre confident it’s possible for you to follow through with.

That means meeting yourself where youre at.

The consequence doesnt have to be big or dramatic to work.

It just has to be real.

Bring Support

It is possible to stick to your boundaries alone, Siangio says.

But with a healthy support system, it can be a lot easier.

Just knowing youre not doing this alone has been shown to decrease symptoms of depression and anxiety.

You probably know by now that arguing with people whose beliefs differ from yours doesnt change anyones mind.

If anything, heated debates just make all participants dig their heels in further.

If your mental or physical health is at risk, its OK to choose not to engage.

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

That courage to be an ally can have an even more profound impact on closeted family members.

You could end up being the support system someone needs to embrace who they are.

To ensure you actually do that, it helps to have an actual plan.

For extroverts, that might look like inviting your cool cousin out for a drink and debriefing after dinner.

Thomas PA, Liu H, Umberson D.Family relationships and well-being.Innovation in Aging.

2017;1(3):igx025.

2022;34(2):277-290. doi:10.1080/19317611.2021.2014014