There is no easy way to determine if divorce is your right choice.
Because divorce is such a big decision, there are several factors to consider before ending your marriage.
Some questions to ask yourself:
Research suggests that divorce has significant economic effects, which disproportionately impact women.
Verywell / Nusha Ashjaee
Sometimesmarriage is worth savingand sometimes it isn’t.
It’s important to face the realitiesand not just the fantasyof divorce.
If you are in immediate danger, call911.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Differing Goals or Values
Sometimes people in relationships find that they have different goals for the future.
Studies indicate that a lack of shared goals can harm relationships and increase the risk of divorce.
Significant differences in values and beliefs can create conflicts in relationships that may not be resolvable.
In such cases, ending the marriage might be the best solution for both of you.
Lack of Intimacy
Intimacyis an essential part of any healthy relationship.
In some cases, it is possible to recapture the intimacy in your relationship.
But if that isn’t possible, you might consider whether it is time to end the relationship.
Research has found that lack of intimacy in a marriage is the most common reason for divorce.
Apathy erodes the emotional connection you share.
Before divorce, people often go through a period of detachment, where they emotionally disconnect from their partner.
Growing indifference can often be a sign of this detachment.
Other Problems
Other problems, such as substance use or infidelity, are also reasons for divorce.
The most commonly cited “final straws” were infidelity, domestic violence, and substance use.
But staying in a state of indecision can also take a toll.
Ultimately, failing to decide to stay or go means more time wasted and more stress.
You may need some time away to view your marriage more clearly.
Getting away alone, even for a weekend, can help you sort things out.
For many people, this is when something clicks inside and they know what to do.
Be sure to see someone with a good amount of experience in couples' work.
If you do make the decision to divorce, be good to yourself.
Remember that if your marriage fails, it doesn’t mean you’re a failure.
Some unhealthy relationships are not meant to succeed.
Sometimes people keep trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make sense or can’t be solved.
A Word From Verywell
Ending your marriage is a difficult and complex decision.
It pays to give it adequate thought and consider all of the alternatives before making a decision.
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