Maybe your partner is disengaged and spending more time alone, or theyve started hiding their phone around you.
Something that would violate your trust and mean everything wrong and terrible?
I’ve written about being cheated onand the pain of being blindsided by my ex.
Mauro Grigollo / Stocksy
While the betrayal was terrible, the pain became a learning opportunity.
I learnedhow to trust my instinctsand used that pain to help other people.
Read on for what I consider the biggest tells that your boyfriend is potentially cheating on you.
It’s good to get feedback from their friends and me, but we can only speculate.
Only your boyfriend can tell you what’s happening.
Remember: your feelings matter.
If their behaviors are triggering yourhypervigilanceor creating distance, its worth addressing.
Despite this advice, some people want to bring concrete proof to the conversation.
You might want to start poking around to find some answers.
However, even when youre justified, I still dont recommend sleuthing through their phone and emails.
Seriously, don’t do it.
I’ve snooped and regretted it after.
I’ll never be in a relationship where I feel like I need to do that again.
In a secure partnership, your partner will do whatever it takes to fix the issue.
Theyll deeply listen, share their perspective, and put in effort to calm down your frayed nerves.
In my experience, projection can also be one of the clearestsigns of infidelity.
I once dated someone who didnt like my matchmaking career.
In response, I stopped going out to networking events and limited my interactions with men.
Turns out, there was no amount of appeasing I couldve done.
When we broke up later, he confessed to having cheated on me multiple times.
I was stunned by his disclosure because I truly had no idea.
In retrospect, his spitefulness and possessiveness made perfect sense.
Everything clicked into place, and I understood why our connection never felt quite right.
In my case, his projections were driven by his inner turmoil from his infidelity.
He thought I was lying and cheating because thats what he was doing.
If your boyfriend is expressing concerns about your trustworthiness without presenting any evidence, take note.
When your body is telling you something, it might be a good idea to drop in and listen.
Heres another reason to trust your bodystress contagion.
So, if you’re grappling with anxiety and everything is seemingly OK, that could be a reason.
While science is still understanding the cognitive processes behind a hunch,I trust in our intuition wholeheartedly.
I believe our bodies possess an ancient wisdom that transcends logical rationale.
But our guts will.
One thing is certain: youll never be the same afterward.
If necessary, call in a therapist or arelationship coachto facilitate these conversations.
Roos LG, OConnor V, Canevello A, Bennett JM.
Post-traumatic stress and psychological health following infidelity in unmarried young adults.Stress Health.
2019;35(4):468-479.
Erkens VA, Nater UM, Hennig J, Hausser JA.
Social identification and contagious stress reactions.Psychoneuroendocrinology.
