It’s a common stereotype that those living in the Big Apple are rude and crass but kind.
Contrary to popular opinion, kindness is not synonymous with niceness.
But howtrueis this claim, really?
Hinterhaus Productions / Getty / Verywell Mind
Below, we lay out the differences between niceness and kindness.
Niceness and Kindness: The Key Differences
Are you nice or are you kind?
Kindness, in comparison, is more internal [on a] deeper level.
Do you have empathy?
Are you somebody who is a doer for others?
I call it a sort of intrinsic focus as opposed to an extrinsic focus.
Occasionally, it’s just a tiny footnote on the overall goodness of humanity.
Plus, you’ve got the option to determine when to be kind vs. nice in appropriate situations.
It also plays a huge role in the success of your relationships.
They think, Oh, if a person’s nice, that means they’re fake.
And of course, that may or may not be true.
We’ve seen niceness, orperceived niceness, weaponized, particularly against marginalized people.
or How did X event make me feel?
It can also include journaling your feelings, taking a stroll in nature, or even practicing meditation.
As the saying goes, Treat others how you would want to be treated.
Bottom Line
Niceness is often based on outward appearance to others whereas kindness comes from within.
And look, being kind can be hard, especially if you care what people think of you.
But sometimes the kindest thing to do isn’t to be nice, but genuine.
So, extend yourself (and others!)
It beats being nice any day.
Dating and romance: the problem with kindness.
Association for Psychological Science - APS.
Contandriopoulos D, Stake-Doucet N, Schilling J.Fake kindness, caring and symbolic violence.Nurs Ethics.
2024;31(6):1041-1049. doi:10.1177/09697330231209290
