Yourfeelingsfor your partner could be blossoming in a natural way.
You could be overlooking reality and maybe building up an idealistic vision of your love interest.
Maybe youre beguiled by whom you believe the other person to be and are simply attracted.
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Or maybe youre obsessing orlustingafter this person.
Sometimes its confusing to know exactly what you feel.
People often think theyre in love in the early stages of a relationship.
This article will discussattraction, infatuation,lovesickness, lust, and love.
Youll also find a quiz to help you determine if what youre feeling is something other than love.
During the Attraction Phase
You know when youre attracted to someone.
You flirt with them from across the room and feel affectionately drawn to this person.
When we are attracted, our brains release lots ofdopamine(the feel-good neurotransmitter) and also norepinephrine.
As a result, we may feel euphoric.
That might explain the sense of feeling exhilarated andanxiousat the same time.
Interestingly, just because we are attracted to someone doesnt mean we trust them.
A recentstudyexamined the relationship between attractiveness,trustworthiness, and desire to date in online dating.
The study surveyed 305 participants between the ages of 17 and 36.
All identified as heterosexuals.
The results showed that young men who participated liked the morebeautified and attractiveprofiles of women.
They also wanted to date those women.
At the same time, theyconsidered attractive women to be less trustworthy.
Is It Infatuation?
If youre questioning if youre in love, ask yourself how youre functioning.
When you dont know someone well and deem the other person perfect, that sounds like infatuation.
With infatuation, feelings come on quickly.
These feelings are not based on deeply knowing someone.Love usually builds over time.
We love someone even though theyre not perfect.
Relationships built onintimacy, bonding, respect, and caring are more emblematic of love.
What Does It Mean to Be Lovesick?
Lovesickness is a real thing.
Your feelings are all over the map when youre lovesick.
you’re free to thank chemicals in your brain for that.
Unmoored, you crave this sense of love.
The mood swings have been compared with the mood fluctuations often seen in people with substance use issues.
These arent like butterflies in your stomach when youre getting ready for your first date.
These are more extreme signs ofobsessiveness and nervousness.
Lovesickness can also describe your sad longing for the guy you met on a dating app two years ago.
Or the despair you feel because youredating someone whose love isnt reciprocated.
Maybe worse, its not reciprocated in equal measure.
Is It Really Lust?
Lust is marked by intensesexual chemistry.
Lust can appear at the beginning of a short-term relationship or even be part of a long-term union.
The sex hormones (testosterone and estrogen) play a major role in lust.
To determine if its lust or love keep in mind that lust is based purely onphysical attraction.
You might not share the same values with this other person.
When spending time together, sex is the main focus.
Couples in love are passionate but communicate with a deeper emotional connection.
They are committed to each other.
Those in love also allow themselves to be vulnerable and value their partner outside of the bedroom.
And a Few More Questions to Ask Yourself…
If your answer to most questions isyes, psychologists would say youre not in love.
What Is Love?
During the advanced stages of a relationship, you have formed a strong attachment with your partner.
You care about someone in a way thats long-lasting.
Your bond is meaningful and profound.
This person knows your flaws and you trust the other implicitly.
When youre truly in love, you no longer feel a frenzy of moods.
Emotions no longer initiate the gamut from euphoria to anxiety.
There is a knowing calmness to replace the doubts.
One hormone involved in this mature stage of attachment is oxytocin.
This neurotransmitter bonds people and makes us feel more stable and connected when we are in love.
2017;24(1):77-92. doi:10.1353/ppp.2017.0011
