Many parents find it frustrating to get their child to slow down, pay attention and follow directions.
The problem is compounded ifparents themselves also have ADHD.
“It is important to understand that children with ADHD have very busy minds,” says Martin.
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But in their city, the traffic lights are not working, creating gridlock and chaos."
“Use interesting time limits and make it a challenge.
Saying, ‘We are leaving in five minutes’ is meaningless,” explains Martin.
Martin also encourages parents to speak softly and whisper at times.
“It helps your child learn to listen more attentively.”
“This will actually increase attention and retention,” Martin says.
Sometimes we talk until we are blue in the face and children simply dont listen.
They tune us out instead.
Martin recommends visual and auditory reminders to keep a child on task.
Martin encourages parents to look at tantrums as an opportunity to prove their personal integrity.
“The most effective way to calm an emotional child is for us to be calm.
They learn that we can be manipulated or embarrassed by screaming and crying.
This causes even more insecurity and instability.
“So when your child loses it, seek first to control yourself and remain calm.
Because your child has become emotional, he is irrational.
And it is impossible to reason with an irrational person.”
Martin counsels parents to draw the child into their calmness.
“Sit down and begin to color with crayons, read a magazine, water your plants, cook.
Invite him into your calm.
This will freak him out at first because he is used to seeing you get upset.
Parents may then calmly let their child know they are available when the screaming and acting out stops.
A Word From Verywell
Communicating well with kids is essential, no matter the child’s diagnosis.
If your child has ADHD or other learning or attention issues, communication can be challenging.
Miscommunication and frustration can lead to tantrums.
