I understand the curiosityknowing how a dating expert navigates their personal, romantic journey is only natural.

I believe in reciprocal vulnerability, so Iloveanswering this question and giving people a peek behind the curtain.

Here are a few timeless truths that helped me find love.

Hopefully, these tips can do the same for you and your dating journey.

Throwing Out the Checklist and Having No Expectations

Seriously,noexpectations.

I was visiting from out of town to spend time with my sick uncle.

I wanted to learn something new about myself with no expectations.

With that intention, I signed up for a dating app.

My eventual boyfriend was the second person I matched with.

It took a few messages before I realized he was a father.

Somehow, I missed that when scrolling past his detailed prompts.

Back then, I wouldve never seriously considered dating a single parent.

It seemed too complicated.

This time, I stayed open-minded.

Besides, we shared identical values with our upbringing, spirituality, and how we viewed the world.

I didnt have anything to lose except an afternoon.

Its been almost two years, and were now spending most of our afternoons together.

Ive grown tremendously as a person and have had the privilege to develop a close relationship with his kids.

Back then, I wouldve never seriously considered dating a single parent.

It seemed too complicated.

But this time, I stayed open-minded.

Today, my life is much better than what I once thought I wanted.

Checklists are great to help you focus on what you want.

I was overwhelmed, depressed, anxious, stressed, and shut down.

Healing my nervous system through a multifaceted approach helped me findemotional regulationand love.

Growing up withrefugee trauma, having a safe home was all I ever wanted.

I finally achieved that with him.

Instead of using thatsecure attachmentto explore new dreams, I feared losing what he represented to me.

Love is one of the most life-affirming experiences.

Thats why working in relationships is my sacred calling!

But love isnt the end all, be all.

I forgot that as our connection progressed.

I expected my partner to singularly keep me happy, fulfilled, and safe.

But its not his responsibility to resolve these loaded concepts.

Yet he could support me with my healingwith limits.

Often, we tend to make our significant others our entire world.

We might hope they finally give us this intangible thing to magically complete us.

But no one can.

Thats up to you.

By maintaining your respective individuality, it allows you to remember love is not meant to engulf.

Love is meant to enhance your life which leads to true, healthy interdependence.

What was important was what we learned.

When building a life with our partner, we need to leave the past in the past.

Yet, we must understand our old stories to create a mindful future.

We all have baggage, and weve all hurt somebody.

I love him for his experiences, mistakes, and growth, which bathes the relationship with radiant compassion.

This allows you to express a boundless expression of love that profoundly elevates the relationship.

What This Means For You

You deserve the healthiest form of love.

This starts with the care you give yourself.

Chu B, Marwaha K, Sanvictores T, Ayers D.Physiology, stress reaction.

StatPearls Publishing; 2023.

Tindle J, Tadi P.Neuroanatomy, parasympathetic nervous system.

StatPearls Publishing; 2023.

2020;129(5):433-444.