Don’t have the words to say I love you?
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Nothing turns around a bad day more than an unexpected gift from your friend or significant other.
See, the idea of pebbling comes from how penguins interact romantically.
Verywell Mind / Getty Images.
Receiving a pebble makes you feel seen in the smallest of ways.
While the term might be new, the idea behind it isn’t.
See, we sort of stole this idea from penguins.
Pebbling is how penguins show love.
A penguin will search high and low for the perfect pebble and offer it to a potential mate.
It’s like a proposal but cuter.
Pebbling refers to when you give small tokens of affection to someone you care about.
It’s not necessarily big gifts, but even a flower, small rock, or anything.
It basically shows I saw this and thought of you.
Pebbling can be both romantic and platonic.
They are usually not about the value but more about the thought and emotion attached to them.
What Does Pebbling Look Like?
Chances are you’ve seen pebbling in action, whether in pop culture or IRL.
Think of Smith shaving his head with Samantha while she battled breast cancer in Sex and the City.
Or, Meredith and Cristina having a dance-it-out moment whenever tragedy struck in Grey’s Anatomy (IYKYK).
Why Is Everyone Pebbling Right Now?
So, what’s with this newfound obsession with pebbling?
We’relooking for ways to connectthat feel authentic and manageable.
Pebbling doesn’t require an expensive gift or a grand speech.
Everyone receives and expresses affection in different ways, says Marschall.
Daniel Glazer, a clinical psychologist and co-founder of UK Therapy Rooms.
But what’s really intriguing is that pebbling traces its origins back to the neurodivergent community.
For some neurodivergent people, affection is expressed with these little gifts/pebbles rather than with words, Marschall adds.
Here are some tips and creative ideas to get you started.
Nothing’s Too Small
Don’t overthink a pebble.
The minute you catch yourself doing that, you’re overthinking it.
You could even gift a literal pretty pebble you found to your sibling who collects stones.
It’s unexpected, it’s simple, and it’s bound to make them smile.
Thesesmall, thoughtful gesturesdon’t just show you care for them; they show you really see them.
Use the everyday things you already know about the people you love to gift them.
It could be anything, from their favorite coffee order to a simple but sweet text message.
It’s the thought that counts.
Pebbling for Different People in Your Life
Pebbling isn’t a one-size-fits-all sort of thing.
It should be tailored to whoever you have in mind.
For a close friend, you probably already know what makes them laugh or smile.
Find a way to bring those details into your pebbling.
Pebbling Romantically and Platonically
People find pebbling romantic partners even more effortless.
You could surprise them with a movie night and the first film you watched together.
Or leave a love note somewhere unexpected, like in their shoe.
Pebbling works for all kinds of moments, from birthdays and anniversaries to random Wednesdays.
And if it’s just a regular day?
That’s the best time to pebble.
Final Words
So, what is pebbling, again?
Let’s take a cue from our favorite tuxedo-wearing birds and show care in small but thoughtful ways.
It’s a simple yet powerful way to slow down and connect with the people who matter most.
2024;42(2):439-457. doi:10.1007/s11195-024-09838-x
- Howard PL, Sedgewick F. Anything but the phone!
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