I live in Los Angeles, where things like medicated (cannabis-lubricated) meditations are a thing.
I dont have a ton ofsocial anxiety,but a group ketamine-induced meditation with a bunch of strangers?
Would anyone talk to me?
Verywell / Madelyn Goodnight
Connecting with others is a strong suit of mineso to feel a disconnect triggers old sensations of feeling excluded.
J, who works for the company, asked if he could sit next to me.
I dont have a ton of social anxiety, but a group ketamine-induced meditation with a bunch of strangers?
You couldnt make this up if you tried).
The mental health writer and therapist in me feel comfortable.
But as he speaks, Im wondering what brought everyone else here.
Does truly everyone in this room have depression?
Is This Safe?
But in all seriousnessI wonder about the screening and the safety.
Doeseveryonewho fills out the little survey get prescribed ketamine?
Can someone justsaytheyre depressed and be given this powerful prescription to take at home?
After failing more than 10psychiatric medications, I began IV ketamine three years ago.
Just before beginning this ketamine meditation.
As someone who also has experience withIV ketamine, I can say that the two experiences are pretty different.
This can be called ego death or ego dissolution.
I feel like I cease to exist within my body and that I am just free-floating in the universe.
It’s a little terrifying to experience, but it feels beautiful writing these words.
With the lozenges, I feel much moremild dissociation.
I struggle to breathe deeply amid my anxiety while also not accidentally swallowing the lozenge or my saliva.
Finally, the time comes to swallow and lay down, and I am hoping for a good experience.
The music was custom-designed by musicologists and purported to put you into the theta statethat enables deeper meditation.
Its also engineered to take you on a journey.
Instinctively, I pulled away.
It must have been a mistake, right?
They suggestedjournaling, and I furiously scribbled, my head moving so much faster than my hands could.
When I tell my friends about my usual ketamine sessions, I know they cant fully understand it.
I meanI once thought I was my dog!
(Best day of my life.)
Why the Meditation with the Medication?
It’s interesting to note that research shows that both ketamineandmeditation affect our default mode networksin our brains.
Depression can “hijack” and dysregulate this system in the brain.
In our modern society, so many of us are disconnected from each other and others.
During the most intense parts of my depression, I still surrounded myself with people.
So many of my friends told me they loved me, but I just didnt believe them.
At myself-loathinghigh, I also couldnt fathom why someone else would care about me.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Koschke M, Boettger MK, Schulz S, et al.Autonomy of autonomic dysfunction in major depression.Psychosom Med.
2020;41(1):107-119. doi:10.1002/hbm.24791
