Its normal to get close to a friend or co-worker.
Or maybe you realize that gradually over time youve developed romantic feelings for this special someone.
Figure Out Your Real Feelings
Sometimes were confused about our closeness to someone.
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Do we care for them as a really good friend?
Or in another way?
To better assesswhatyou feel, take some time to reflect on these possibilities.
Consider whether youre seeing this person in a true light.
Do you think a healthy relationship is possible with them?
Is it physical andsexual chemistry?
Maybe as you spent more time together, you became more attracted to this person.
Think about if you desire a shortterm hot fling, long-term love, or something else.
That overwhelming feeling of desire might indicate you have feelings of lust.
Is it love?Loveincludes a deep caring attachment.
Its a close, intimate bond between two people.
It is characterized by sharedvulnerability, passion, tenderness and devotion to the others well-being.
Once you determine your true feelings, you might better understand what kind of relationship you want.
More good news: when friendship is at the heart of a relationship, it bodes well for romance.
In fact, friendship is a key component of successful romantic relationships.
One studyexamined non-married couples who cherished the friendship aspect of their relationship.
Results showed that these friendship-based relationships were linked to high levels of sexual gratification and commitment.
This is an outcome that requires some mental and emotional preparation.
Then adhere to work protocols.
Be sure to think about the consequences of disclosing that you have a crush on somebody you work with.
What if they feel the same way?
What if they dont?
Will your admission make working together uncomfortable and add towork stress?
Also, dont overlook what might happen to your livelihood in the case of a possible breakup.
This will help you determine if a romantic relationship is worth pursuing.
Exes
Relationships often end for a good reason.
Assuming that the reason was circumstantial or based on bad timing, maybe you want torekindle a relationship.
Are you romanticizing the positives?
Are you forgetting upsetting memories?
Casual Dating Partners
Maybe youre dating and happily hooking up.
Are you choosing this kind of relationship or are you settling for it?
How will wanting something else affect this relationship?
Are You Ready for a Relationship?
Everyone gets one vote.
Even if you think a relationship is unlikely, don’t take away the other person’s vote.
Practice a few scripts until youre comfortable reciting one of them.
Be honest, genuine and straightforward.
You might say something like, Weve been friends (or co-workers or exes) for a while.
But I realized that Ive developed more than platonic feelings for you.
Its OK if you dont feel the same way, but I really wanted to let you know.
Give that person time.
Tell them they don’t need to respond in the moment.
Keller says they may not have identified their feelings for you as you were already in the friend box.
Let them respond in the way theyre most comfortable, too.
And like take a stab at mean that.
But rejection is also possible.
To lessen debilitating reactions to this kind of rejection, reframe the situation positively.
You told someone you had feelings for them.
Even if the feeling wasnt reciprocated, congratulate yourself on being brave and true to yourself.
On the benefits of valuing being friends for nonmarital romantic partners.Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.
2013;30(1):115-131.
Hsu DT, Sankar A, Malik MA, Langenecker SA, Mickey BJ, Love TM.
Common neural responses to romantic rejection and acceptance in healthy adults.Soc Neurosci.
2020;15(5):571-583.
