How to Stay Mentally Strong When You're Single on Valentine's Day

Verywell / Madelyn Goodnight

I never paid too much attention to Valentines Dayuntil the year I was widowed.

I was 26, and it felt like all my friends and family had some amazing dates lined up.

As a therapist, I knew it wasnt just me who dreaded the holiday.

Every year, many of my therapy clients talked about the angst they experienced as February 14th approached.

A recent survey from BetterHelpconfirmed Valentines Day is stressful for many people.

They discovered that 15 million Americans say their mental health worsens around Valentines Day.

15 million Americans say their mental health worsens around Valentines Day.

The following five strategies can help you stay mentally strong when youre alone on Valentines Day.

Establish a Plan

Sometimes thefeelings of dreadleading up to the big day are worse than the actual day itself.

Establish a plan for how youll spend your timeand create that plan now.

When youre feeling extra lonely, you might be tempted to reach out to anot-so-good-for-you ex.

It also might discourage you from taking positive action.

While their intention may be positive, their statement’s effect on you may be quite negative and defeating.

A helpful pre-planned response like, Thanks for checking in with me.

I am doing OK on my own right now, might prevent a more emotional response.

Practice Self-Compassion

When you’re alone on Valentine’s Day, your mind might go to some dark places.

You might even conclude that youreunlovable.

But beating yourself up for being single does more harm than good.

Remember: Being single doesnt mean that there’s anything wrong with YOU.

Theres a good chance youd have some kind words for a friend who was single on Valentines Day.

So give yourself those same kind words.

Spend time thinking about the friends and family members who love you and improve your life.

You might even spend the day sending text messages to people you appreciate.

Short little notes ofgratitudemight brighten their dayand spreading kindness might make you feel better.

Try This Exercise

Better yet,write letters to the most important people in your life.

And actually, send them.

If you do, you might end up stuck in a negative cycle ofrumination.

When you think of unhelpful things, change the channel in your brain to something more helpful.

Doing something different can boost your mood and prevent you from spiraling into a full-blown pity party.

Being in a relationship can be stressfulbut so can the absence of a relationship.

And keep in mind that being single doesnt have to be a bad thing.

Nothing says you must be in a relationship to live a fulfilling life.

Businesswire.New survey from BetterHelp reveals nearly half of Americans are stressed about their love lives.