The Good Brigade/DigitalVision/Getty Images
Setting healthyboundaries in friendshipscan help you protect your identity and personal space.
It can also prevent others from taking advantage of you or limiting what you want to do.
Setting boundaries can enhance your mental and emotionalwell-beingand actually strengthen your friendships.
The Good Brigade/DigitalVision/Getty Images
This article will explore what boundaries are, when theyre necessary and why create them.
What Are Boundaries?
Boundaries are guidelines for acceptable behaviors, expectations and personal limits.
Boundaries make it clear to the friends in your life what you want and will accept.
They may drop by unannounced or expect to be included in everything we do.
No rights, no wrongs.
When Boundaries Are Needed
These lines you draw up help both you and your friends.
Friends may criticize what youre wearing or make you feel bad about your goal of running a marathon.
Without realizing it, they could be crossing a line.
What kind of scenarios might prompt a talk about boundaries?
Here are examples:
Why Create Boundaries?
Its often easier to dismiss boundary-crossing behavior than deal with it.
Instead of facing the problem head-on, this form of coping can create stress and anxiety.
Other common byproducts of having no boundaries includeresentmentand distress.
While its tempting to look away, you better speak up.
Allowing others to overrun your boundaries has unhealthy consequences for you.
Setting up a discussion about your boundaries can contribute to opencommunicationand mutual understanding between you and your friend.
Researchers analyzed communication during collaborative problem solving amongst younger and older women.
Setting Healthy Boundaries
So, how do you set these boundaries?
Good boundaries are clear, concise, and consistent.
Here are tips on how to have this important conversation that will ultimately honor both you and your friend.
Remember to use I statements and avoid accusations or insults.
Direct communication enables you and your friend to avoid misunderstandings and even better the relationship.
Setting a boundary is about having a discussion to determine how the have the best relationship possible.
If your friends resist your boundaries, keep reminding them.
Provide gentle guidance and when necessary, use moreassertive communication.
If they refuse to honor the boundaries youve set, decide if the friendship is worth keeping.
Supporting Friendship and Its Boundaries
Friendships are fundamental for our growth.
They offertrust, closeness and intimacy, which are valuable for our psychological and emotional well-being.
Friendship quality greatly affects our mental development during adolescence.
A systematic review was recently conducted to understand the association between friendship quality and adolescents' mental wellbeing.
The review showed an association with happiness and good self-esteem and reinforced the value of healthy friendships.
By sharing our boundaries, we foster a culture ofempathyand understanding.
Honoring reciprocity is a win-win for both of you.
Rodrigues MA, Yoon SO, Clancy KBH, Stine-Morrow EAL.What are friends for?
The impact of friendship on communicative efficiency and cortisol response during collaborative problem solving among younger and older women.
2022 Dec 23;22(1):2420. doi: 10.1186/s12889-022-14776-4.
PMID: 36564745; PMCID: PMC9784006.