This baffling phenomenon is called enabling.
At a Glance
Enabling can be destructive, but it isn’t always easy to recognize.
What Is Enabling?
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What is the difference between helping and enabling?
Helping is doing something for someone that they are not capable of doing themselves.
Enabling is doing things for someone that they could andshouldbe doing themselves.
Put simply, enabling creates an atmosphere in which the individual can comfortably continue their unacceptable behavior.
Enabling is often used in the context of alcohol or drug use.
Signs of Enabling
to overcome enabling, the first step is to learn how to recognize it.
This can be especially true if the other persondeniesthat they have an addiction.
This can lead to feelings of anger andirritability, which can interfere with your health and relationships.
This might involve doing household tasks such as cleaning, laundry, or child care.
Confronting your own enabling behaviors can improve your own mental and emotional well-being.
Create Boundaries
Establishing and then maintaining clearboundariesis essential.
Let them know what those boundaries are and then follow through when those limits are violated.
Having boundaries minimizes enabling behaviors and protects your mental health and well-being.
By not financially supporting the addiction, the other person will have to find ways to become more self-reliant.
For the loved ones of people with an alcohol or substance use disorder, sometimes this isn’t easy.
Make Tough Choices
Confronting the behavior sometimes means makingtough choices.
This is an option that protects the family and leaves the individual to deal with their problem.
Those kinds of choices are difficult.
They require “detachment with love.”
Making hard choices involves avoiding enabling while still being supportive of your loved one.
Even if your loved one won’t accept help, you might also consider going to therapy yourself.
You may also find that some problems can linger even after treatment.
Manyfamily membershave found that joiningAl-Anon Family Groupscan be very beneficial.
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