Verbal abuse is a means of controlling and maintaining power over another person.
Most people assume that if they were being verbally abused they would know about it.
After all, verbal abuse often involves yelling, put-downs, name-calling, and belittling behaviors.
Verywell / Laura Porter
But there is more to verbal abuse than people realize.
Some people are verbally abused on a regular basis without even recognizing that its happening.
Verbal abuse sometimes precedes physical abuse; however, this is not always the case.
Verbal abuse can exist without physical abuse.
The effects of verbal abuse can be just as damaging as those of physical abuse.
This can include overt verbal abuse such as yelling, screaming, or swearing.
Such behaviors are attempts to gain power, and the goal is to control and intimidate you into submission.
As a result, it is abusive and should not be tolerated or excused.
However, verbal abuse can also be much more subtle.
Victims of verbal abuse often question whether or not what they are experiencing is truly abusive.
They also wonder whether or not it is a big deal.
People engage in verbal abuse for a variety of reasons.
The goal of the abuser is to control you by making you feel bad about who you are.
Even prolonged silent treatment is a form of verbal abuse.
But they are anything but normal and can have lasting consequences.
It is not uncommon for a person who is verbally abused to feel inadequate, stupid, and worthless.
they are explicitly told they are these things by the person abusing them.
In this way, verbal abuse can be insidious and subtle.
What to Do About Verbal Abuse
The first step indealing with verbal abuseis to recognize the abuse.
By being honest about what you are experiencing, you might begin to take steps to regain control.
If they don’t listen, safely remove yourself from the situation.
Consider limiting your interactions with this person and/or ending the relationship.
Then, tell them what will happen if they continue this abusive behavior.
The key is to follow through; don’tset boundariesyou have no intention of keeping.
Limiting exposure with the person can give you space to reevaluate your relationship.
Before doing so, share your thoughts and ideas with a trusted friend, family member, or counselor.
You may also want to come up with a safety plan in case theabuse escalateswhen you break things off.
Document incidents of abuse and inform the human resources department.
Bullying isn’t covered by federal law, but workplace discriminationand harassmentare.
Seek legal advice if your workplace isn’t supportive of your claims.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
Final Thoughts
Although the effects of verbal abuse can be significant, there is always hope.
They also can learn to stand up to verbal bullying.
Remember, verbal abuse doesn’t have to leave a lasting impact.
With intervention, victims can overcome and cope with the bullying they have experienced.
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