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A complicated relationship might involve not knowing where you stand.
Is yourrelationship statushovering somewhere between “single” and “committed,” in the “complicated” zone?
Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around your partner?
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At a Glance
Why are relationships so complicated?
Romanoff explains how complicated relationships canimpact your mental health.
Communication Difficulties
Relationships are often complicated because partners are not communicating clearly with each other.
This is usually due to the fear that communication will cause the relationship to end.
When there is turmoil in your relationship, you will likely make quick fixes to neutralize it.
A common pattern is for partners to assume the problems in their relationship as their own.
This gives them a sense of control and also frees their partner of responsibility.
It’s also important to remember that you do not have to remain ina relationship that makes you unhappy.
Below, Romanoff shares some steps that can help you navigate a complicated relationship.
Understand Your Conflict
Its important to understand your conflict.
you might write down the undesirable behaviors to which you contribute.
Owning your role in the problem gives you agency and control over the solution.
Communication is most helpful when youare solution-orientedinstead of accusatory or blaming.
There isshameand embarrassment associated with relationship conflicts for many people, which causes them to suffer alone.
Many people are afraid to ask for what they want because they fear those needs will not be met.
Instead, they settle for unsatisfactory relationships.
Remember that you always have the choice to leave the relationship.
Many stay in complicated relationships because of the significant time and energy they have invested in them.
Their commitment to the relationship may also influence their ability to stay, despite its challenges.
This causes a bias that their problems will work out and their effort will be worthwhile.
The intensity with which partners contribute tosaving a relationshipmay blind them from seeing how incompatible they have become.
One exercise is to imagine what life would be like if you were no longer together.
If you are facing significant problems in your relationship, remember you always have the option to end it.
It can take a toll on your mental health and make it difficult for you to function.
Offer S. They drive me crazy: Difficult social ties and subjective well-being.J Health Soc Behav.
2016;71(5):775-85. doi:10.1093/geronb/gbv023
Reis HT, Sprecher S.Encyclopedia of Human Relationships.
SAGE Publications; 2009.
