A narcissist is a person who has an inflated sense of self-importance.
They often have a deep need to be admired.
They revel when they are in the spotlight and pout when they are not.
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They desperately need validation and might lash out when the people closest to them dont constantly feed their egos.
Manipulation should only be considered if it’s the safest way to navigate a dangerous situation.
Narcissists delight in anyone whoshowers them with praise.
If they are fussy about their appearance, compliment them effusively.
Tell them they have a great sense of fashion or that they look attractive.
Dont hold back on praise, even when it seems undeserved.
Fawning and flattery can help the narcissist in your life be more cooperative and less volatile.
Narcissists mask their insecurities with a false sense of superiority.
And knowing that theyre seeking validation from others is what one can use to their advantage.
Its crucial not to overplay your hand; make a run at be subtle and seemingly genuine.
Another way to boost their ego is to ask for their opinions and guidance on even the small stuff.
Their inflated sense of self makes them feel not justvalued and respectedbut indispensable in your life.
Asking questions like What would you suggest I do here?
or How would you handle this challenge?
gives them a sense of control and importance.
Using a persons insecurities against them likely goes against your ethos.
Its crucial to use this strategy carefully, focusing on protecting yourself rather than maliciously hurting the other person.
Michelle Dees, a board-certified psychiatrist at Luxury Psychiatry Medical Spa.
In certain situations, the narcissist may respond by lashing out.
So, its essential to be tactful and focus on de-escalating the situation.
Your goal should be finding ways to navigate the relationship safely, not perpetuating harm.
Use this strategy only when necessary to protect yourself or diffuse a dangerous situation.
Creating a false sense of control doesnt require relinquishing your power.
Frame your ideas and requests as if theyre theirs so they feel like they are in the drivers seat.
Another approach is to offer limited choices that lead to the same outcome you desire.
Presenting options allows them to feel they are making the decision.
Regardless of their choice, the task gets done within your required timeframe.
This poses a grave ethical concern, especially regarding respecting an individuals autonomy.
It is important to consider what could happen if we ignore somebody elses right to decide for themselves.
Narcissists tend to thrive on dominating and ‘winning’ conflict with their enemies.
This reaction will only escalate the situation youre trying to remove yourself from.
Controlling someone constantly is exhausting, especially if it goes against your nature.
Exploring Healthier Alternatives
Manipulation is risky and unethical.
Set clear boundaries and communicate openly with them.
Call them out when theyre being manipulative and controlling.
A therapist will also help you understand narcissistic behaviors and what triggers them.
Daniel Glazer,a clinical psychologist with a special interest in trauma.
In fact, narcissistsdoseek help, but not in the way you would typically expect.
They are most likely to seek help so you can better control or get what they need from others.
Self-Care and Setting Boundaries
Dealing with narcissists can be emotionally draining and mentally exhausting.
Prioritizing self-care will help you maintain your mental and emotional well-being when dealing with a narcissist.
How to Set Boundaries
Boundaries are crucial when interacting with a narcissist.
Without them, youll quickly find yourself accepting harmful behaviors that threaten your emotional well-being.
Take time out tonurture relationships with peoplewho are loving and supportive.
These healthy connections are especially crucial to provide balance in your life when dealing with a narcissist.
Communicate openly and honestly with other people in your life, especially about your troublesome relationship.
Learn as much as you could about narcissism and how narcissists come to be.
The more you know, the better prepared youll be to handle manipulative behaviors.
it’s crucial that you be strategic and careful when dealing with narcissists, especially in potentially dangerous situations.
Where possible, opt for a healthier alternative, such as getting professional help.
Use the strategies above only in dire situations.
Mitra P, Torrico TJ, Fluyau D.Narcissistic personality disorder.In: StatPearls.
StatPearls Publishing; 2024.
How to set boundaries.
