Some peopleliving with SADmay think “I have no friends,” but not know how to change this.
Here are several to consider.
At a Glance
Having social anxiety doesn’t have to stop a person from building new connections.
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Cognitive reframingis one strategy that can help change these thoughts.
Toreduce the overwhelm, start by setting smaller goals, then take little steps toward them.
Skills that can help include those related to openbody languageand learning how to make small talk with new acquaintances.
Rehearsing these conversations and having a list ofsmall talk topicscan lead to greater comfortability in casual interactions.
Not every encounter will result in the making of a new friend.
However, each interaction provides an opportunity to practice smiling, chatting, and other social skills.
It also gives us the chance to practice managing the anxiety that these interactions can cause.
This enables us to be involved with things we’re passionate about while connecting with others.
Saying yes helps show a level of interest in developing the relationship.
It also signifies a willingness to make the effort needed tostrengthen the friendshipand help it grow.
By the same token, don’t always expect the other person to make all the plans.
Start small by asking them to meet for coffee, visit a local bookstore, or go shopping together.
Be patient as your friendship grows.
Research shows it can take 50 or more hours before an acquaintance becomes a true friend.
Over time, we will come to learn how often certain people stay in touch.
It’s up to us to do our part to contact our new friends and make plans.
Talk With a Therapist
Making friends takes time.
Treating social anxiety disordercan make it easier to relax and enjoy being around others more.
Sometimes this involves forcing ourselves to accept invitations that we might otherwise decline.
Over time, repeated exposure to social situationseven virtuallycan help reduce feelings of social anxiety.
Many factors can make it hard to develop new friendships.
One way to address this is to actively seek friendships and look for opportunities to meet new people.
National Institute of Mental Health.Social anxiety disorder: More than just shyness.
University of Michigan Health.Anxiety: Stop negative thoughts.
2014;22(3):401-422.
National Social Anxiety Center.Thriving as a college student with social anxiety.
Hall J.How many hours does it take to make a friend?.J Soc Pers Relat.
2018;35(3):152-166. doi:10.1017/bec.2018.15
