And make a plan to stay away from your abuser for good.
Depending on your situation, you might be considering leavingor maybe you’re already in the process of leaving.
Maybe you haven’t even considered the possibility of ending the relationship but you just want more information.
Verywell / Laura Porter
This dynamic often confuses victims since they experience times where change seems possible.
Over time, each stage of the cycle become shorter."
Whatever your current situation looks like, safety planning is a very personalized process.
After all no two relationships are alike and you know thedynamics of the relationshipbetter than anyone else.
Still, there are some basic points that you better consider as you put your plan into place.
Here is an overview of the key points you may want to consider.
What Is a Safety Plan?
Having a safety plan in place is a way to protect yourself if things escalate in your relationship.
Additionally, you should identify areas that have a way out if needed like a window or a door.
Teach them how to call 9-1-1 as well.
Make a Habit of Keeping the Car Fueled and Ready
Abusive situations are unpredictable.
Consequently, you never know when you might have to leave suddenly.
As a result, your gas tank should always be filled with gas and ready to go.
Consider leaving all the doors locked except the driver’s side door.
This way, you won’t have to unlock the door first before getting inside.
You also should attempt to keep your cell phone with you at all times if possible.
You should also know where the nearest public phone is located.
Even if you think your partner would never go that far, it’s important to take precautions.
For this reason, it’s extremely important that you plan to take care of yourself emotionally.
Here are some ways that you’ve got the option to protect your mental health.
This might mean learning new skills so that you’re free to find a job.
Or, it might mean taking classes.
Whatever route you take, working toward becoming independent andself-supportingcan be extremely empowering.
Identify a place where you might go torelax and think.
Some examples might include a park, the library, or a coffee shop.
The key is that whatever place you choose, you are able to find some peace and unwind.
Practice Self-Care Consistently
Taking care of yourself is important to your health and well-being.
This might include taking a hot shower, making time for prayer ormeditation, and spending some time journaling.
Other options include reading, watching a good movie, or exercising.
What’s more, leaving an abuser is dangerous.
Before You Leave
Leaving an abusive relationship for good takes planning and preparation.
it’s possible for you to always handle these details at a later date.
The key is that you keep yourself safe and free of harm.
If you have time to develop a safety plan, here are some things to consider.
Likewise, you should keep a journal of all the verbal abuse as well.
check that you include dates, times, details of what occurred, and any witnesses to the abuse.
In other words, find the telephone numbers and websites for local shelters and hotlines.
You also might want to find out where and when local support groups meet.
Having resources available to you when you need them is an important part of safety planning.
So, you want to keep all these things in one place.
Keep a list of all your important numbers in your car and in your wallet.
In fact, you might be at a greater risk.
So, it’s important to take steps to keep yourself as safe as possible.
Here are some suggestions on things you may want to consider doing.
Unless kids are involved, you want to make it difficult for the abusive person to contact you again.
For this reason, you should change all of your predictable routines.
Ask for a different schedule at work and change up the way you get there.
Abusive people will often look for you in places that you frequent.
So, you want to be sure you are changing things up.
Doing so will keep you safer.
Too many times abusive people will come to the school to get the kids without permission.
Likewise, they might take the kids without permission and hold them as an excuse to see you.
When this happens, this is usually an extremely dangerous situation.
So do not be afraid to get the police involved.
Letting them know is as much for your safety as it is theirs.
You also may want to consider motion sensor lights that come on anytime someone comes near your home.
This will help deter the abuser from hiding in the shadows and waiting for you.
They also may be able to offer other suggestions that can help keep you safe.
But safety planning can empower you and give you some sense of control over your situation.
You also can textLOVEISto 22522 as well.
It’s likely they can help you identify additional ways to stay safe.
you better know that you are not alone and there are people always available to assist you.
For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.
2013;4(1).
doi:10.1891/1946-6560.4.1.76
Love Is Respect.org.Create a safety plan.
National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence.Domestic violence personalized safety plan.
National Domestic Violence Hotline.Create a safety plan.
National web link to End Domestic Violence, Inc. WomensLaw.org.Safety tips.
