But having those hard talks is key to getting through challenges together.
The result: A relationship that feels unauthentic.
Having a difficult marriage talk shows your partner that you care enough about your relationship to risk discomfort.
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Ultimately, ignoring your issues can evencause your marriage to fail.
Recap
Mutual respect and honest conversations build intimacy and trust.
The more you practice having these conversations, the more you strengthen your relationship.
Here are a few steps to make the process easier.
Look at Your Expectations
If you expect the conversation to go badly, it probably will.
If you assume that having a big talk will make the situation worse, it probably will.
Instead, define yourexpectationsof the conversation in positive terms.Envision what you’d like to happen.
Understand Your Motivations
Know why you want to have the talk.
Do you want to gain a better understanding of your partner’s perspective?
Clear up a misunderstanding?
Discuss a suspected lie or hurtful behavior?
Or maybe you’re concerned about yourlevel of intimacywith one another and would like to be closer.
Whatever the issue, thinking this through will help you approach the situation with honesty and respect.
Embrace the Reality
Accept that the conversation will be uncomfortable.
This way, you’re free to respond from a place of logic rather than impulsivity and emotion.
How to Begin the Conversation
Avoid saying “can we talk?”
or “we have to talk,” which can be alarming for your partner.
Approach With Sensitivity and Clarity
These types of talks can get emotional quickly.
Know when to get help.
Find out which option is the best for you.
It can also be helpful to confide in a trusted family member or friend about marriage problems.
However, be sure that this person won’t divulge the contents of your conversation to your partner.
Share with each other what makes you feel the most loved and respected.
For instance, ask your partner what their love language is.
Talk about your expectations for your relationship, and where you both see yourselves in the future.
Learn each other’s boundaries and how to be respectful of them.
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