Can you actually make consent sexy?

But youre not sure if theyre on the same page.

Asking for consent sounds awkward and you dont want to kill the vibe.

Woman whispering into man’s ear

Ray Morsch / Getty Images

So what can you say instead of May I ask for your permission and consent to touch you romantically?

Consensual experiences are one of the core principles of sexual health according to the World Health Organization.

Healthy communication, honesty, and consent have also been shown to improve sexual relationships.

When we have that sense of emotional safety, we can relax and be present.

We can feel connected because we trust our partner(s).

Creating that emotional safety looks like making sure your partner is on board.

Beyond that, theres a sense of freedom from pressure, manipulation, or coercion.

Before that, look forsigns that theyre interested.

In those cases, she may give consent by moving their hand or telling them what she wants.

Sometimes the communication needs to be in giving consent rather than asking.

It can become a fun, playful game of exploring each others body.

If you or your partner struggle with social cues, its best to stick to verbal consent.

This can actually increase turn-on and act as a playful teasing moment as well as fostering consent.

This move works well whenflirting and touching signalshave been pretty clear leading up to that.

Look for their facial expression, enthusiasm level and reciprocation to help determine if theyre into it.

If the signs are looking good, you’re able to continue exploring.

See if your partner mirrors your intent, actions and enthusiasm.

If youre leading all the moves, thats a sign to pause and check in.

Shannon adds you shouldnt proceed to intercourse or other higher-risk behaviors without a verbal chat.

Even if youre comfortable with riskier behaviors, it doesnt mean your partner is.

Bottom Line

Consent doesn’t have to be sterile.

Safe sex is the hottest kind of sex, after all!

For more mental health resources, see ourNational Helpline Database.

World Health Organization.Sexual and Reproductive Health and Research (SRH).

American College Health Association.Shifting the Paradigm: Primary Prevention of Sexual Violence Toolkit.