Which is why many of us bottle it up.
We might fear judgment, rejection, or conflict.
But withholding how you feel can ultimately lead to stress, communication problems, and poor relationships.
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However, knowing how toexpress your feelingscan also create closeness and connection in your relationship.
By sharing what is in your heart with your partner, you’re able to achieve deeper intimacy.
Rejecting or stifling your feelings will likely make them worse.
Judging, denying, or rejecting emotions can be harmful because it often results in unhealthy coping behaviors.
This can lead to conflict and tension that harms your connection and intimacy.
Acknowledge that feelings are neither right nor wrong.
Instead, the behavior stemming from those feelings often creates problems.
For example, just because you are angry, you do not have the right to behave violently.
Managingnegative feelingsmeans accepting them without allowing them to overrun us.
Describe the feeling by saying it or writing it down.
Think about how to help your partnerempathizeor help them understand what it’s like to walk in your shoes.
It really does get easier the more you practice.
To start, ask your partnerhow they feel, then share your own emotional state.
If you are not used to expressing feelings, this may initially feel awkward.
Practicing it in small steps will make it easier.
For example, start by saying, “I feel angry” or “I feel sad.”
Over time, this will begin to feel more natural.
Understand Feelings vs.
Mood
It’s important not to confuse feelings with your mood or thoughts.
Feelings can also be physical sensations.
I feel" rule.
Whereas a statement like “I feel that he is a jerk” is incorrect.
You “think” he is a jerk.
Try not to judge your own or your partner’s feelings.
Likewise, rejecting a feeling is rejecting the person feeling it.
Doing so invalidates how the other person feels.
Verbalize Your Feelings
Healthy relationshipsare built onopen communication.
Verbalize feelings with your partner directly.
Your partner can’t read your mind.
You might be expressing anger, but underneath,feel hurtor embarrassed.
Expressing to your partner directly is much more crucial to developing closeness and intimacy.
Saying that you were “late for a meeting” gives the basic information only.
While you should share feelings daily, avoid making decisions based on those feelings alone.
Emotional reasoning is acognitive distortionthat contributes to faulty beliefs and can increase anxiety, conflict, and misunderstanding.
Chaplin TM.Gender and emotion expression: a developmental contextual perspective.Emotion Review.
2024;24(5):1338-1342. doi:10.1037/emo0001354
