You like them, they like you.
Youre hanging out all the time, finishing each others sentences, anddoing cute couply things together.
You want to know where things stand, but you dont want to scare them off.
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Should you let things ride, or do you finally havethe talk?
Yep, weve all been there.
At a Glance
Not knowing where you stand in a relationship can be nerve-wracking.
Youre overanalyzing every word your partner says and wondering what to tell your friends and family about them.
If not, at least you know where you stand with them.
But then, out of nowhere, the easygoing vibe turns into an itch we cant ignore.
Here are some reasons why we might feel the need to have the talk.
Reduces Anxiety and Uncertainty
Lets face it, uncertainty drives us nuts.
Defining the relationship and agreeing on a label reduces uncertainty and gives us the illusion of control.
Knowing where we stand gives us peace of mind and lets us relax instead of constantly second-guessing things.
In fact, research shows that defining the relationship helps create a sense of bonding and commitment.
This helps us feel protected and avoid the potential blindside.
When we clearly define our relationships, several shifts come into play, says de Llano.
The talk helps us figure out if were building something real or just treading water.
If we’re in this for thelong haul, great.
If not, it’s better to know sooner than later.
Being honest about what we want helps set expectations and avoid future disappointment.
Preparing for the Conversation
Before you dive into the conversation, consider your approach.
These tips can help:
Dealing With Different Outcomes
Conversations about relationships can have many different outcomes.
You will never know unless you ask.
So, gather your courage and go for it.
Emery LF, Gardner WL, Carswell KL, Finkel EJ.Who are “we”?
Couple identity clarity and romantic relationship commitment.Pers Soc Psychol Bull.
2021 May 31;17(2):103-116. doi:10.5964/ejop.1852
