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Dealing with someone who haspassive-aggressive behaviorsa “passive-aggressive bully"can be complicated.
However, you could take some steps to protect yourself.
Setting boundariescan help stop this cycle.
Ljupco / iStockphoto
Addressing their behaviors is one way to bring these issues more into the open.
It also establishes your willingness to hold the person accountable, which helps stop the passive-aggressive cycle.
Confronting a person with passive-aggressive behaviorsat work, school, or home requires honesty.
Let them know how their behaviors affect you.
Be clear on how they make you feel.
When confronted, the person may make inappropriate remarks and mumble under their breath.
Don’t let their hostility and inappropriate actions keep you from addressing their behaviors.
Calling the behavior out with no apologies is essential.
Be Direct
When dealing with someone who is passive-aggressive,be assertiveand clear about your expectations.
This helps establish your boundaries.
It also reduces the risk of miscommunication about what you want or need in the relationship.
Control Your Response
Focus on staying calm.
Keep your voice neutral and hold your emotions in check.
The less you react to a person’s passive-aggressive actions, the less control they have over you.
Choose to respond in a healthy way to their unhealthy behaviors to help keep it from being atoxic relationship.
Use your energies on actions such as setting boundaries or communicating honestly about how their actions affect you.
If you allow yourself to get offended, it becomes more difficult to keep your composure.
You do not have to appease someone who is passive-aggressive.
Stick to what you know is right regardless of anyemotional abusethey may inflict.
Be Empathetic
Being compassionate andempathetictoward a difficult person can be challenging but very effective.
Say something like: It seems like you’re frustrated by what happened at practice yesterday.
That must be difficult.
Remember, people who are passive-aggressive often feel misunderstood.
Exploring where they’re coming from can go a long way in helping you cope with their behaviors.
Here are a few telltale behaviors typical of someone with passive-aggressive tendencies.
If something happens, it must be the fault of someone or something else.
They engage in minimization andvictim-blamingon a regular basis.
They resent being asked, but they hide this emotion and do the task anyway.
Or, they simply might not follow through with the request.
People who behave in a passive-aggressive way also can be sarcastic, even when sarcasm is inappropriate.
When confronted, they might pass it off as a joke, accusing the recipient of being too sensitive.
Repressing Anger
People who are passive-aggressive rarely show anger.
Instead, they stuff it down inside.
They might give you thesilent treatment, for instance.
You might have no idea why this is happeningespecially if the person denied they were even mad.
Because of these feelings, it is not uncommon for them to have avictim mentality.
Someone acting as a passive-aggressive bully doesn’t see themselves as the bully in the situation.
In their mind, the other person is the one who is bullying them.
Having No Boundaries
People with passive-aggressiveness tend to lack boundaries.
This throw in of person typically won’t address or demand accountability for the passive-aggressive actions against them.
And they can continue to express their hostilities without a fight.
Passive-Aggressive Cycles
Passive-aggressiveness can often lead to cycles of conflict that create problems in relationships.
This pattern can lead to cycles of overt hostility followed by withdrawal periods.
Remember that under the passive-aggressive exterior is someone who feels angry and misunderstood.
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